In the Heart of my Home

Karoline's Soccer Game Bouquet

All That Glitters is NOT Gold!

Never Too Many Flowers or Children

How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers. Mother Teresa

It was another glorious day today! Here's a whole new bunch of pictures, courtesy of Mary Beth. One of the funniest things I've ever seen was Nicholas running across the creek to the "island," carrying Paddy's shoes high in the air. Paddy is notorious for wanting nothing to do with mud or water. He's great at suggesting all sorts of dirty, wet things for Nicky to do and then standing back and having his curiosity sated while he watches Nicky get dirty. Nicky left Paddy barefoot on the banks and took his shoes across the creek. Then, all the other kids stood on the island and taunted "Come get them!" until Paddy was forced to wade into the water.Karoline was much happier today, too, though she still remains firmly opposed to getting wet or dirty, either.

Karoline, where did all the crayons go?

Did you eat them?

Morning Connection

The theme for this week's Simply Lovely Fair is "Staying Connected." Sarah asks how we stay connected to our husbands amidst the busyness of everyday life. I bring my husband breakfast in bed every single day. This did not begin as an altruistic gesture or even a conscious effort at connection.   My husband awakens hungry every morning and he tends to be a grumpy hungry person. One big, hungry, grumpy person mixed in with several small hungry grumpy people, cups of orange juice, the morning paper, a dog who needs to go out, and eggs on the stove and well, it wasn't pretty. So, I resolved to take the big guy out of the picture. I got the kids settled with breakfast one morning and took a pretty tray up to my hubby. I sat there in our bedroom and gave him my apparently undivided attention while he ate breakfast. (I was still listening for sounds of chaos from downstairs.) And then, I did it again the next morning and the next and the next. When the baby was born, that became time to nurse and chat. And when she grew old enough to be interested in food, she sat on his lap and ate from his plate. Now, this is her routine and when he's out of town, she won't eat breakfast. The three of us have some time alone together. Sometimes, we just delight in how dear she is. Other times, we discuss important things well over her head. Whatever the case, we connect.

I keep it fairly simple and the menu is usually the same: an English muffin, poached eggs, and a fruit smoothie. Occasionally, I add bacon or sausage. Every once in awhile, they enjoy leftover spaghetti carbonara or muffins from teatime the day before. But mostly, it's the same thing every day. I have the "making" routine down pat and everyone seems happy with the predictability. We begin our day together, in an oasis before the crush of craziness. Sometimes, other children wander in for a morning snuggle after they've eaten and increasingly, Karoline drifts away to play when she has had her fill of food. I remain (often stilling the small voice inside my head ticking off the items on my to-do list). And we begin the day together.

Reality

The "M" post isn't going to happen this week. When we began Serendipity, we invited y'all to come along with us as we presented in Real Time what was happening in our learning rooms in Real Life. We warned that the kids came first and you'd get the overflow. We also knew that we'd tweak along the way and honestly, I considered that to be an important part of the endeavor. This way, you can really see how it works over time, in real life. For years, I've gotten mail asking about the nitty-gritty. What if curriculum choices aren't working for you? What if you're sick? What if the children are sick? What if? What if? What if?

It hasn't been smooth sailing. One of us decided that none of Serendipity was really working for her. That left me to tinker a bit on my own. I heard from several of you who were enthused and we've been working hard to re-write the stories to better suit our families, to update the PDFs, to add more art, more music(coming later), and geography. I've written new grammar lessons. I've learned from Rebecca's botany lessons. We've done the tweaking thing and now we're good to go.

Except now, my baby is sick and I know this February thing well enough to know that this virus is unlikely to stop here. So, what happens when someone is sick? Depends. This time, I'm going reap the benefits of the hours and hours I've spent over the last couple of weeks revising lesson plans on the Alphabet Path.I'm going to go back to letters A-L and print out the new stories and review them with my early readers. I'm going to gather all the books recommended in the Faith sections of all those weeks and focus on reading those this week. I'm going to go back to the A-L read alouds lists and re-read those. People who are well enough will narrate.People who are well enough will do some new grammar lessons. People who are well enough will organize existing geography narrations alphabetically and consult the master list to see what comes next. And there are always those workbooks, should I need them. There is plenty here that is useful and educational and worthy. Designing one's own real books curriculum does not leave you empty-handed during the "what if" times as long as you are able to bend and stretch as necessary.

And, I'm going to perfect the art of making orange ice with one hand, while balancing a toddler on my hip.I'm going to spend hours and hours rocking sweet Karoline while reading aloud to her siblings. Chances are good I'm going to watch a whole lot of Signing Time and Little Einsteins.  Real Life Homeschool. We're blessed indeed.

I sure would appreciate a prayer or two offered for the gang of us.

A Valentine for Sweet Karoline

It's oh-so-much fun when the mailman brings you your very first ever Valentine!

You read it very carefully.

And you are oh-so-excited!

Now, isn't that sweet?

You eat chocolate with one hand and sign, "Thank you, Danny!" with the other. He's a keeper;-)

Give Them Siblings!

Maryan is due tomorrow. She's been ever so eager patient to go into labor. Personally, I'm thinking tomorrow a very fine day to have a birthday;-). Just ask Brendan Fry (number eight of nine closely spaced siblings), who will be three tomorrow. Lots of good things happen on January 10th. So, won't you please join me in praying for Maryan today? For tomorrow, of course.

Maryan is encouraged by Danielle's thoughts on closely-spaced siblings. And well she should be, for Danielle is very wise and very experienced. I thought of Maryan yesterday while I pondered the storm  over Danielle's parenting philosophy.  Maryan and her husband Dan are real life friends, so I can personally vouch for the very happy, healthy family thing they have going there, despite the fact that they have closely spaced boys. Proof positive in my book that this is a bit of hogwash:
But the AP response would be that, unless God has somehow specifically called a person to act in a manner that is contrary to what he created the child's body to need (which would be remarkable considering Pope Benedict's assertion at Ravensburg that the Christian God is a God of order and reason who does not contradict the laws of his own creation) then it is imperative to the bonding process and the health of the mother that children be spaced about 2.5 to 3 years apart (give or take).Heart Mind and Strength
Um, pardon me for being simplistic, but doesn't that sort of call God's wisdom into question every time someone is blessed with twins or more? Let me be very clear, I believe in attachment parenting and I believe that it is parents who benefit most from it. But I don't believe that it is the only way to be a good Catholic parent. And I know Maryan Vanderwoude so I'm here to vouch for the fact that perfect attachment parenting doesn't always space babies 2.5 years apart. What bothers me most about the fray at Danielle's is the idea that attachment parenting has somehow become all about control. Frankly, I think the blessing of attachment parenting is how much it teaches us about relinquishing control--openness to life and attachment parenting are our path to holiness and holiness is not at all about our control. Actually AP is so hard sometimes that we need to let go our grip on the illusion of control in order to hang on firmly to God with both hands. So, when I read this :
Attachment parenting and the Catholic concept of "Integral Procreation" go hand-in-hand. Integral Procreation is a corollary of responsible parenthood which asserts that being open to life requires parents to not simply say "yes" to conception, but mainly be willing to say "yes" to  all the needs a child presents in every age and stage in order to give that child the best chance to become the saint he or she was created to become.Heart Mind and Strength
I was horrified.
My second child was conceived seven months after I finished chemotherapy and radiation. I didn't even know if I'd be alive for the next five years, never mind able to say "yes" to answering his every need personally. Happily, a good priest and a good oncologist encouraged me to say yes to life and all its unknowns. God, I love that child and I thank you every day for the miracle he still is to me.

My fourth child was a nursing toddler when my fifth was born. We were home, happily settling in, when he became very ill with RSV. We spent the second two weeks of his life in the hospital. I was with the baby, ensuring that he was breathing; my nursing toddler was with her father and her devoted older siblings, who did everything they could to comfort her in my absence. They all grew from the experience. I definitely didn't answer her every need, but in the infinitely wise design of a big family, her needs were answered.

I could go on and on in outlining all the needs my children have presented over twenty years--needs that I could never have imagined. And it's a good thing. Because if I'd known how needy they'd be and I'd known how imperfect I am and I'd read about "integral procreation" and thought that was what I had to believe to be Catholic, I would have turned my back on God's choicest blessings in my life and never had them at all. I would have been very afraid. Perfect fear drives out love.

I am open to life. Open to the mystery of what God has in mind for me. Open to the idea that I don't know right now what I am capable of when I open myself up to the possibility of another and I open myself up to God's infinite grace.It's the grace that does it--the grace that makes us grow in ways we could never have imagined. The grace that more than makes up for my lack.

Do I nurse my babies until they three? Yep. Do I nurse more than one at a time, if necessary? Yep. Do I sleep with them well into their childhood? Yep. Do I carry them every where? Well, no, not really. My babies have been known to pass the 25 pound mark before they are six months old. I have a very well worn pelvic floor (I've had 8 babies). Carrying 25 pound babies for hours and hours a day is really medically contraindicated. But I keep them with me. I sit and hold them as much as I can. And when I can't, I enlist a willing older sibling to carry. There are lots of them here. If I'd had all my children 3 years apart, there would be very few of them here. But I had them when God offered them to me. And what I lack in holding/slinging ability, my children provide to their siblings.I don't need a scientific study to tell me that a baby sleeping on the chest of a stressed out teenager is good for everyone's cortisol levels.I don't need a study to tell me that an eleven-year-old is a perfect bed buddy for a three-year-old. That's just the way we do things. We've learned from other holy families. We've learned from watching each of our children and taking our cues from them. We've learned from the fruits of our own earnest prayers. Isn't that a beautiful thing?

One more thought before I move on: I am 42 years old tomorrow. I have 8 living children. I married young and was pregnant the first year. With the exception of the year I had cancer, we have been entirely open to life our entire twenty year marriage. For that, I am extremely grateful to God (I believe He blessed us with abundant grace and saved us from some very prideful decisions) and to my husband.He is a man of great strength and quiet courage. And I think that's a surprise, even to him.It's not easy to be a dad these days. He has so much on his plate, so many, many responsibilities. And when he comes home at night, there's a wiggling, giggling baby in his bed. It's a 24/7 job, no doubt. But if that baby's asleep, he is sure to ask me if he can wake her up just to play. He loves her more than words could ever adequately capture. He's given her so much. He works incredibly hard to provide for all his children. But if you asked, he would be the first to acknowledge that the greatest gift he's given, by far, is the gift of those seven siblings who love her beyond compare. We are old. They will be here for her long after we are gone. We know that we won't provide for her every need. We know that children have needs--big needs, real needs--well into adulthood. And we know better than to assume that even tomorrow is ours. We trust that these children will be family to each other forever. We trust that the big ones whom we have loved so well, will continue to love the little ones and that they will teach that love to the next generation. We pray we're here to watch it all unfold. We trust that we will be able to meet every need God desires us to meet and that He will provide for the rest. On the eve of my birthday, as I'm counting my blessings, I am ever so grateful again, that we were greedy for babies. I'm grateful that we never let a mere man, whether he was a well-meaning stranger or a misguided medical doctor, tell us to outguess God. Despite all the very hard, physically grueling years of lots of littles, I have no regrets. No second guesses. I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Because I know that the baby years are very short in light of eternity. I'm so glad that I didn't tell God, "Not right now. I'm not able to do this perfectly for another child right now and I can't guarantee tomorrow." I'm glad, instead, that my husband and I said, "We are willing. Please God, make us able--in whatever way is right and holy for our family."

Handmade for Karoline

I missed Colleen's fair by a long time, didn't I? Still, I love this logo, so I'm going to pretend that everyone hasn't packed up and gone home. Mary Beth and I made a doll for Karoline today. I meant to get to it earlier, but I'm glad that it worked out this way. It was a peaceful little project for the afternoon and I'm just so tickled with this wee doll. (Christian did much baby entertaining when Kara woke far too early from her nap, bless his dear heart.)The craft itself is enjoyable and the doll is so endearing.Mary Beth was very patient and she is especially fond of the face, which is all her own handwork. Now, I just need to discipline myself (and my daughter) so that we don't cave and give it to her early:-).Incidentally, someone asked about gift giving in a family so large. The children each get one gift from us for Christmas (stockings were given on St. Nicholas day).
They all draw names to give a gift to a sibling. So, that's it: just two presents each on Christmas day, though grandparents and godparents definitely chime in during the season. We've done very well with our handmade intentions. Nearly everything this year has been handmade by us or someone else, with just a few exceptions. Next year, I vow to start earlier. And next year, by golly I'm going to learn to knit! Without further ado, here's "Little Muffin Cake Girly Doll" (Only her working title. Karoline has naming rights.)

We can hardly wait to introduce you to your friend, Little One!

To Daddy from Katie

I TOLD you that Kari was writing on the walls. It wasn't me. See, I took a picture!

On this day last year...

We rejoiced and were very glad.

A Rare Moment in Time

A couple of weeks ago, Mary Beth, Katie, Karoline, and our friend Mackenzie were playing in Mary Beth's room. The girls were dancing and Kara was watching--and wanting. To Dance. Mackenzie asked if she had yet taken a step and--just as Mary Beth was answering in the negative--Karoline took three such steps. There were squeals and shouts and lots of "Mom, you'll never believe it!" And I didn't.
Because I chose to deny it. That was pretty easy since I didn't witness it:-).
Then Karoline did it again and again and I was forced to admit that she is indeed learning to walk.
Karoline has never crawled. Instead, she scoots along on her bottom and propels herself forward with her right leg. This is a very useful means of moving. A baby can get herself all over the house, while holding a doll or a ball or Mommy's cell phone. There is no need to walk. She's upright and very fast! Because she spends so much time this position, her left foot and lower leg curl in considerably. While she can bear weight and stand up straight, she has not gone from those few steps to full blown walking very quickly at all. Instead, she usually takes two or three steps at a time and falls over that left foot.
Until yesterday.
Yesterday, she put several more steps together and looked at me with a grin of perfect satisfaction. She is my eighth baby. I know the signs. By Monday morning, my baby will scoot no more. She will be walking.
By the grace of God, this happens to be the first weekend since the middle of August when my husband will be home all weekend. It's also the first weekend since the middle of August when my eldest son will be home all weekend. Karoline knows her audience. It's going to be quite a weekend, a rare moment in time. We're all together,  watching our baby become a toddler.

Hooray!

Red Sox win!

Now we can go back to our regularly scheduled BEDTIME!
Oh, happy Mama...

Some of the Best Things in Life are "B"

B is for Bagels for Breakfast; a Big, new Bakery opened in town.

B is for Braces, but no more for this Big Boy! Isn't his smile Beautiful?

B is for Boston.  I love post-season Baseball. Go Sox!

And B is for Baby, our Bundle of love. We've made an album of things we do to keep her Busy. It's on the sidebar.

"K" is for Sweetie Pie

I know that last week was "D" week, so this should be "E" week. At Funschool it's "F" week . And at Serendipity, we went all the way back to "A" week and then we sent you plans for "B" week. But here, it's really still Birthday Week. And we're way tired of cake. Inspired by Sophie's beautiful "A"pple Pie, we made Karoline a birthday version for our sweetie pie.I didn't have a deep dish pie pan, so that daisy cake pan was pressed into service again. Something about daisies amidst this week's roses seems just perfect to me:-) Katie and Nicky cut out "KarolineRose" to go around the edges.

The children painted their faces like animals in honor of St. Francis' feast. Then, there was cream to whip.

We had one happy sweetie pie!

Happy Birthday, Karoline Rose...

Karoline was born a year ago today. And even now, after spending every moment of every day with her for 365 days, I can't get over the miracle of her. I can't begin to express who she is and what she means to me. Her life has been chronicled on this blog. We gave her big brother a big camera for his birthday just days before she was born. He re-paid us with pictures more beautiful than we could have ever imagined. And she inspired words as well as pictures, though I've never been quite satisfied with a single post about Karoline. She evades my expression. I tried to put together a slide show. But my technical advisor has left the house to get an education and a phone call for help just frustrated us both. So, please enjoy the Baby Archives and say a little prayer for Karoline on her very first birthday. I'm off to smile through my tears.

Deja Vu

The Baby in 1993  and The Baby in 2007

 

Sweet Feet

Karoline received a package in the mail yesterday--her first pair of shoes with soles! Her feet were very happy and she sends along a smiling "thank you" to Mrs. Quigley.
Now, I really look forward to Michele's promised tutorial!

Look Dad!

She doesn't walk yet, but she can kick!

And dribble!

And she can shoot!

And, with a little help from the big man inside, she can dunk!

How to keep the baby busy while I garden...

Julie, Thanks for the cutest diaper in the world!