In the Heart of my Home

needle & thREAD with Kristin

You met Kristin here and got to know her a little better here. Now, the bride joins us for needle & thREAD and shares some thoughts on life right now and the sweet quilt top she made with the fat quarters we gave her for Christmas.

I had plans to work on this quilt {my first quilt!} on Sunday, but Karoline batted her baby blues and tenderly persuaded me to spend most of my day playing a game called "Strategy". Last week, she taught me the rules and we played for hours in the basement. Later I found out from Stephen that her rules are very different from the real rules. Nick also enlightened me that the game is actually called "Stratego". Surprised? I wasn't. Karoline walks, often dances, to the beat of her own song {usually a compilation of Taylor Swift and something she made up}. I will have to admit that after my conversation with Stephen, I decided that I prefer Karoline's game. I've always wanted to spend a day in her brain. She finds joy in the tiniest things that I have long forgotten. She's always joyful and laughing about something. I hope that never changes. 

The quilt is still unfinished, like many of my sewing projects. I'm determined to finish this one. I want it to be the piece that I  tell my own joyful 6-year-old, "I made this quilt the first year Daddy and were married. It's very special."   

As for books, I'm finally reading This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald and toting around my Jennifer Paganelli book, Happy Home: Twenty Sewing and Crafting Projects to Pretty Up Your Home {my Christmas gift from none other than Elizabeth Foss & Co.}.  It goes everywhere with me. I like to read through instructions and tutorials in my free time and then adapt to the bumps in the road.. there are always bumps in the road with my sewing projects.  
 
As for This Side of Paradise, I’m not very far into it but I am a really big F. Scott Fitzgerald fan. I cried throughout The Great Gatsby when I was required to read it for my 11^th grade Literature class. I was Nick Carraway – wrapped up in all of the drama and a yearning for a glamorous life at sixteen. I thought hanging out with popular people and being in the center was what life was all about. The Great Gatsby put it all into perspective for me and as Nick started to realize the evils around him, I started to see my own. I climbed out of the box I trapped myself in with materialism and the notion of "right" vs. "wrong" people to associate with. Senior year, I stopped judging and learned the joy of forgiveness. It didn't matter what happened freshmen year or what colleges my classmates applied for. I made new friends and rekindled the old ones that I had become blind to. I truly found peace that year.

High school is 4 years of your life... and then there's college.. and then there's real life. The 29th was my one month anniversary of marriage {gift number 57 #1000gifts} and in so many ways, I feel like I've been alive and awake for this one, solitary month. 

I reread The Great Gatsby last year before the wedding planning picked up. It brought me back to reality and reminded me to plan the wedding based on our love and not the wedding industry’s idea of love. Sometimes we live by these silly rules and risk ourselves missing out on important big moments.

 

I think we should all be more like Karoline and make up our own rules. They are better to play by. 

 

{all photos, except this one, kindness of Michael Foss}

What are you sewing and reading this week? I really do want to hear all about it!

Make sure the link you submit is to the URL of your blog post or your specific Flickr photo and not your main blog URL or Flickr Photostream. Please be sure and link to your current needle and thREAD post below in the comments, and not a needle and thREAD post from a previous week. If you don't have a blog, please post a photo to the needle & thREAD group at Flickr. 

       Include a link back to this post in your blog post or on your flickr photo page so that others who may want to join the needle and thREAD fun can find us! Feel free to grab a button here (in one of several colors) so that you can use the button to link

 

needle & thREAD

Guest post later today;-)

Salad Everyday

A couple of weeks ago, while I was whining to a friend about the limitations of my diet, she mentioned that she was going to challenge herself to a salad everyday. I was noncommittal. Then, providentially, the heat went out. It was several days before the part could be shipped and received. Suddenly, the idea of cold salad was pretty unappealing, but the idea of roasting something--anything --all day long and staying close to the warm oven was very appealing. 

I took a walk through Costco and essentially gathered up everything that could be roasted. At every vegetable, I thought about roasting potential. If there was even a glimmer of roasting potential, I put it in the cart. I cannot wait to use this approach at the farmer's market. Of course, I may not be so eager to roast in the heat of midsummer, but we'll cross that bridge later.

More or less, I followed the roasting instructions in An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace.  (short review here). Basically, I poured a little olive oil on everything and roasted each vegetable separately at 375 degrees in Pyrex baking dishes or on cookie sheets. I put the ones that take the longest in first and let them start as I prepped the ones that don't need long roasting times. With the broccoli, I roasted some garlic, too. With the beets, I sprinkled balsamic vinegar with the olive oil and roasted them wrapped tightly in foil. I added garlic to the peppers, as well.

To me, roasted vegetables have more appeal than raw ones. The flavors are richer and roasting actually makes some nutrients more available. For vegetables that are known to adversely affect the thyroid, roasting mitigates the goitrogenic quality. All around, roasting makes jars of jewels for the refrigerator.

After roasting, the broccoli got a few splashes of lemon juice and everything got a wee bit of salt. Once, I've sprinkled the cauliflower with balsamic vinegar. That's pretty awesome.

When the vegetables are cooled, I packed them into glass dishes with lids or Mason jars. Wide mouth Mason jars are easiest. If a veggie was roasted with garlic, the garlic went into the jar with it. It's all a fairly simple, streamilined operation that really takes under an hour (except for the beets--beets take forever to roast, but they are so worth it).

Then came a most interesting development. I was making "normal" dinners for my family and I adapted them for me, taking cues from the roasted veggies in the fridge. I began Instagramming them, mostly to see if my friend would join me in posting her salad pictures. #saladeveryday was born. So far, it's just me (and a few stray people I don't recognize using the same hashtag), but it's been great fun. Nicholas noticed that I was using bits and pieces of their meal to make my salad and wondered aloud if every meal could be so adapted. So far, so good. From my Instagram notes (you can find these @heartofmyhome):

::Roasted chicken, roasted peppers, roasted broccoli, roasted beets and spring mix. (The kids had roasted chicken and borccoli and potatoes. Mike was out of town the week this experiment began.)

::Mixed greens, baby spinach, roasted balsamic cauliflower, roasted beets, roasted peppers and cedar plank grilled salmon. 

::Romaine, spinach, roasted peppers, green apple, avocado, bacon, a wee bit of pepper-jack, and olive oil/lemon/southwest seasoning (The kids had a baked potato bar with most of those ingredients as topping choices)

::Romaine lettuce, beef, braised mushrooms and onions, roasted beets, shredded carrots. (The kids had beef stroganoff and I pulled off my meat and mushroom before making the cream sauce.)

::a salad at Chipotle on grocery shopping day;-)

::Wilted arugula, roasted peppers (two kinds), olives, roasted asparagus, a fried egg, topped with crumbled bacon (The kids had spaghetti carbonara. Nicholas was totally impressed with this salad solution. I think he thought there was no way to convert that meal. The egg idea is in An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace. I should have oached it but I was too lazy.)

::Romaine lettuce with chili (no beans) on top. (The kids had chili with beans.)

::My very favorite: Christian made grilled chicken, creamed spinach, and mashed potatoes for dinner. I had a salad with fresh spinach, the chicken, and the last little bit of veggies from all the jars. Then, I went grocery shopping the next day and began again.

For the chicken, mix equal parts orange juice, wheat free soy sauce, and honey. Add a little bit of chili sauce with garlic (in the Asian food aisle), to taste, and pour it over however many boneless, skinless chicken thighs you need to feed your family. Let marinate for an hour or more. Grill outside. Delish. They were fighting over the last piece. Sorry about the lack of "real" recipe; we made it up as we went.

I'm definitely on a roll, loving this way of looking at food and eating better than previously. One reason it's hard to cook differently for myself than my family and avoid those things that make me sick is that I often find myself at the hungry hour, without a real plan or provisions. This method assures that there is always a really good, hearty salad in the refrigerator. Works for me! 

The plan is to keep eating a #saladeveryday. You can find them on Instagram.

 

Renew

 

Last year was pretty huge. I was so tired, so completely spent at this year's beginning that I noticed year-in-review posts on other blogs, and just pulled the quilt up tighter around my ears and closed my eyes. I didn't have the energy--physical or spiritual--to revisit it all, even virtually. It was just.so.much.

I went through that year of many, many transitions kicking and screaming. Turns out I'm not a big fan of change. The reality is that I liked the baby years, loved them, really and never once wished them away. And yet, in the big giant year of transition, they were indeed being swept beyond my reach. I left my children for the first time. And then for the second. Someone turned four and there was no one younger than her around the table at dinner. But there was someone new at the table. And she came to be one of us. I gained a new role. The transition was absolutely unmistakeable.

Our culture is so youth oriented. For the most part it seems, no one really searches out ways to be older. We celebrate 21 in a big way. We mark midlife with black-themed birthday cards and bad jokes about being over the hill. I think I bought into that mentality a bit. And I think I know a big reason I was such easy prey.

I was so dang tired. The truth is that this wholehearted, all-in, very attached parenting style had depleted me to the equivalent of soil dust. Nothing rich was growing there. If this was what the mid-forties felt like, I could not imagine sixty.

But I have a four-year-old. And my most fervent prayer is to grow old healthy, and holy, and helpful. I want to be there for her. I want to see how the story unfolds. I want to get out of bed in the morning without my knees cracking so loudly it wakes my husband.

In the blur that was the new year, friends were choosing words for the year--just single words upon which to focus, meditate, seek wisdom. A word to live for the whole year. I couldn't wrap my brain around one. 

And then I could. Aimee said her word was renew. Renew.

That's it. That's the word. It's the word that says that this stage in life is not the beginning of the end. It's the beginning, instead, of something better, stronger, wiser, and yes--older. But older in the richest way. That's certainly being proven true in marriage. Did you know that the sweetest wine is grown from the oldest vineyards? Grapes grow best when the farmer works in harmony in with the earth, when he embraces the whole and considers that plant and the land around it as they were endowed by the Creator, with an eye towards preserving the quality for a long time. The goal of biodynamic farming is to be sustainable. When you grow grapes, you draw something from the soil and you have to replenish that. 

When we learned about biodynamic vineyards, one point that came home to me is that growing practices greatly influence how long the vineyards will continue to bear fruit. The vines where the practice is focused upon sustainable growth--where the big picture is considered and every element of farming is oriented towards ensuring health of the vines down deep and over time--are the vines that bear the sweetest fruit. At first, the explanation of biodynamic farming sounds a bit hokie. But then, you can literally taste and see that the fruit borne of the wisdom of old is of a superior quality.

This image works so well for me. The Bible is rich with imagery of vineyards. Clearly, God wants us to consider how to grow in a sustainable way in order to renew the face of the earth. I've never been more certain of that than I was this morning. I had written the above over the course of the last few weeks. I clicked over to visit Aimee in order to link to her in my post. When I did, I learned she's writing today about sustainable homeschooling. My jaw dropped and I smiled widely at God's thunk over my head. If ever I asked for a sign that I was on the right track, I got a clear answer at 7:00 AM on Tuesday January 29th while visiting Aimee's blog. It's a post that just might easily have catapulted to my favorite home education post ever this morning. There is wisdom there, my friends. Rich, rich wisdom. Get this: middle aged wisdom. Yep. There is wisdom and it's invaluable.

I look around at the friends with whom I've had babies and I am blessed to know that they've grown wise. How amazing! We all learned something during those hazy, intense, sleep-deprived years.

So, now I embrace renewal. I look to tend the vineyard of my soul, to be sure, but I am not going to neglect the rest of me any more. The big picture of renewal is one that encompasses physical health, spirtual growth, creative energy and enthusiasm, and an invigorated sense of hope and optimism for the future. I look to my home, to my homeschooling, to the relationships within these walls and to the people I love beyond these walls. Renewal. All of it is waiting to be made new again. 

What a different perspective than that of a withering towards an inevitable end. We can renew and renew and renew again, until our dying breath. God is generous that way.

I've talked a bit about stillness. About allowing Him to come in the silence.

Be still and know that I am God.

The last two weeks at Mass, an old familiar hymn has settled on my soul in a new way. I've listened to You Are Mine and heard the refrain of stillness. I will come to you in the silence. But I've also heard the rest. I heard the echoes of Isaiah 43:1

But now, thus says the LORD,

who created you, Jacob, and formed you, Israel:

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name: you are mine.

There is nothing to fear. I am redeemed. 

And the promise of John 14:27

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give it to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid

Transitions can be scary. Aging can be scary. Renewal, though? The sustainable model of growth that keeps us renewing until we reach heaven? That's peace.

Last year, was a hard year. It was exhausting. It was a compost year, I think. A year of creating very fertile ground for renewal. 

Gathering my Thoughts

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I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

We are in the midst of one of the infamous wintry mix storms so familiar to this region. Right now, ice is coating everything. My fervent hope is that I can get some pictures before the whole things turn to cold rain.

::listening to 

Ice falling hard and fast against the house.  

::clothing myself in 

A sweatshirt and sweatpants. Schools have been closed for the day. That might just mean I have no where to go unless I choose to go to the gym later this afternoon. And that might just mean I'll wear sweats all day long. 

 

::talking with my children about these books

Snow books. Poor Sarah was absolutley traumatized by My Brother Loved Snowflakes . Bentley dies of pneumonia. Mary Beth has had pneumonia this winter. Just a little too much for my sensitive four-year-old to process.

 

::thinking and thinking

about renewal. It's been a long time since I've intentionally taken care of my body. I tend to push myself to the absolute outer limits of endurance, but not in a good way. This January, at Mike's insistence, I've really been paying attention to exercise and relaxation and sleep. Still don't have the nutrition thing nailed down, but the rest is coming together. Now, I see just how merciless I've been to myself.

::pondering prayerfully

"Remember the precept that St. John the Evangelist used to give to his disciples: “Love one another.” Since it is not a mere exhortation, but a command, it would be sinful to do otherwise. Therefore, do away with insults, quarrels, envy, revenge, mockery, or bad will. Be good to one another. This will prove that you love each other like brothers."

- Don Bosco

 

The feast of St. John Bosco is January 31. There is a treasure trove of great information and resources here.

 

::carefully cultivating rhythm

Schools are closed today, but not here. I remind my children that all those January long weekends for teacher workdays and the random snow days easily add up to a week in the woods in April when the bluebells bloom and everyone else is stuck inside. Now, if we were to get significant snow, I could persuaded to call a snow day .

::creating by hand

I really must tackle those nightgowns anew this week. And hustle along with knitting plans for Easter sweaters, because they're not moving nearly as quickly as the shrugs did two years ago. All my projects seem to be for Katie and they all seem stuck at the yoke. Hmmm...

 

::learning lessons in

teenagers. I am not a quick study, but I do think I'm making progress. 

::encouraging learning 

This week we'll begin our study of Matthew. I'm really looking forward to doing this study with my kids and I think they're pretty enthusiastic, too.

We've also been meandering down the Alphabet Path. Last week, H was for "heart" and we did some tweaking to the Valentine plan.

::begging prayers

for all the intentions of our prayer community. Also, Elizabeth DeHority is facing a formidable struggle this week as she battles an opportunistic infection. Her bone marrow is utterly depleted and her body has very little with which to fight.

 

::keeping house

Up this week: Reorganizing the linen closet (It's been a long time since it looked like this, but I have photographic evidence that it once did, so I'm motivated). Also,  the storage room in the basement is in need again. Last time I did, it was a big emotional epiphany. I don't have time for epiphanies this week. I just want to clean it up. 

::crafting in the kitchen 

Christian took over my kitchen several times last week. He made New England clam chowder that was met with deep sighs of approval,  an amazing dinner of grilled chicken, creamed spinach and mashed potatoes, and then a raspberry chocolate cheesecake. He's got some impressive skills. He's got absolutely no desire to cook according to anyone's dietary limitations;-).

For my part, a friend challenged me to eat a salad every day. Nicholas took it a bit further and asked if I could somehow turn their dinner meals into salads for myself. I played with my food a bit last week and it was fun. I'll share it here on Wednesday, I think.

 

::loving the moments

When I have a chance to catch up with a friend. My friend Barbara joined me to watch Stephen and Nicky play basketball on Saturday and we had a whole hour to just sit and chat. And Colleen called from Costa Rica on Sunday and we had absolutely the best phone connection we've ever had.

Patrick was there for the basketball game, too, and he brought a friend home from school with him. It was nice to have them in the stands and I know the "little brothers" loved it.

::giving thanks 

for safe travels. Patrick came home last weeked. Christian drove down to Charlottesville and back in the snow without incident. And Mike was gone last week, but traveled home from Miami safely last night and is tucked up in bed while the sky rains ice.

living the liturgy

We are preparing for Candlemas. Candles. I do love what they do for our home.

Ginny and I sat down a couple of weeks ago and sketched out some plans for celebrating the rhythm of the Church year with our families. We're really looking forward to bringing those plans to life and our kids are, too! 

::planning for the week ahead

Pretty mellow week, I think. I have a hunch that a popcorn ball nibble did some bad things to a tooth, so there is likely to be some dental visits in my future. Other than that, it's just some lovely "normal" and a visit from friends on Wednesday to do some candle crafting.

Oh, and Stephen turns fourteen on Friday. I'm not a huge fan of fourteen, but I think Stephen is just the guy to change my perception;-) He's on board to take on the challenge of re-branding fourteen.

Hope for Fragmented Days

 

“And when night comes, and you look back over the day and see how fragmentary everything has been, and how much you planned that has gone undone, and all the reasons you have to be embarrassed and ashamed: just take everything exactly as it is, put it in God’s hands and leave it with Him.” — Edith Stein

Whew. I’ve had a lot of nights like this one lately, a lot of fragmentary, embarrassed, and ashamed nights, many, many worried nights, a lot of dreams where all the bumps of the day crowd out peaceful sleep and I awake feeling defeated before I’ve begun. 

Please join me at MomHeart today to read the rest?

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

Gospel

Luke 1:1-4, 4:14-21

 

Since many have undertaken to compile a narrative of the events
that have been fulfilled among us,
just as those who were eyewitnesses from the beginning
and ministers of the word have handed them down to us,
I too have decided,
after investigating everything accurately anew,
to write it down in an orderly sequence for you,
most excellent Theophilus, 
so that you may realize the certainty of the teachings
you have received.

Jesus returned to Galilee in the power of the Spirit,
and news of him spread throughout the whole region.
He taught in their synagogues and was praised by all.

He came to Nazareth, where he had grown up,
and went according to his custom 
into the synagogue on the sabbath day.
He stood up to read and was handed a scroll of the prophet Isaiah.
He unrolled the scroll and found the passage where it was written:
The Spirit of the Lord is upon me,
because he has anointed me 
to bring glad tidings to the poor.
He has sent me to proclaim liberty to captives
and recovery of sight to the blind,
to let the oppressed go free,
and to proclaim a year acceptable to the Lord.
Rolling up the scroll, he handed it back to the attendant and sat down,
and the eyes of all in the synagogue looked intently at him.
He said to them,
“Today this Scripture passage is fulfilled in your hearing.”

 

Think

“I chanced on a wonderful book by Marius von Senden, called Space and Sight. . . . For the newly sighted, vision is pure sensation unencumbered by meaning: "The girl went through the experience that we all go through and forget, the moment we are born. She saw, but it did not mean anything but a lot of different kinds of brightness." . . . In general the newly sighted see the world as a dazzle of color-patches. They are pleased by the sensation of color, and learn quickly to name the colors, but the rest of seeing is tormentingly difficult. . . . The mental effort involved . . . proves overwhelming for many patients. It oppresses them to realize, if they ever do at all, the tremendous size of the world, which they had previously conceived of as something touchingly manageable. . . . A disheartening number of them refuse to use their new vision, continuing to go over objects with their tongues, and lapsing into apathy and despair. . . . On the other hand, many newly sighted people speak well of the world, and teach us how dull is our own vision.” 

~Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

Pray

Jesus, Open my eyes. Help me to recover my sight. To see. Truly see.

Act

Slow down. Look around. And really see.

Snow Day (Well, sort of)

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Once upon a time, when there were just three little boys in my tiny little house, there were grand predictions of a big snow. I got those little boys all hyped up on the idea of snowballs and snow angels and snowmen. And then it snowed less than an inch. Those boys were so bummed. In an effort to make snowballs indoors, we popped some popcorn and introduced it to marshmallows. Very yummy fun. Like so many things, we did it once and it became a sort of tradition. I think there are children here who might just hope the forecast is wrong. They know the consolation prize for just a little snow.

Still, I'm wishing for a big snow. Really wishing.

Below is the recipe for popcorn snowballs and then a list of great books that will make even the most tropical among us hope for just a little "playable" snow.

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Popcorn Snowballs

2 sticks of butter, plus some to butter your hands

1 cup popcorn kernels 

1 bag mini marshmallows 

Pop 1 cup of popcorn kernels, set aside.

Melt both sticks of butter. Add marshmallows. Once marshmallows are melted, add the popcorn. Mix ingredients together. Butter your hands and then form the popcorn mixture into balls and set on a buttered baking sheet to cool. 

>>>

The Snowy Day. Everyone loves Peter and his dog Willy and the adventures they have on a sweet snowy day.

The Story of the Snow Children The snowflakes are snow children who are swept into the Snow Fairy's kingdom on a winter day. You'll never look at swirling snow the same way again.

Flannel Kisses This one reminds me a little of Peter's Snowy Day above, but warmer and softer, I think.

Owl Moon A little girl and her father venture into the stillness of a winter's night and experience a lyrical, almost magical (but real) adventure.

My Brother Loved Snowflakes This is the true story of Wilson Bentley told through the eyes of his older brother. It's a wonderful companion to Snowflake Bentley. We love the both. Together:-).

Winter Days in the Big Woods I just ordered a new copy of this one for our library. My children have all loved, loved, loved Laura's stories come to life in these picture books. This one is a keeper and one to replace when it gets loved to death. 

A Farmer Boy Birthday See above. Love, love, love. Almanzo gets a new sled for his birthday. 

The Mitten (and The Hat) Beautifully illustrated whimsical stories in snow. These feature handknits and, well, there is just so much inspiration to be had here;-)!

Snowsong Whistling. Well worth the hunt. 

Snow Cynthia Rylant. I'm a big fan of Cynthia Rylant. This book lives up to my high expectations. The text is brief, but lyrical, and the author wrings meaning out of every drop of word. A little girl, her friend, and her grandmother appreciate an incredibly beautiful snowfall. 

Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening. Read through this bpicture book, lingering on lovely illustrations, just for a few days in a row and suddenly, you and your children will have memorized Frost, so that his poetry comes to mind every time it snows, forever.

She inspires me.

 

You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,

Love like you'll never be hurt,

Sing like there's nobody listening,

And live like it's heaven on earth.

~William W. Purkey

Because there are names and faces and stories...

The pro-life movement is not a political entity. It's an anthology. An anthology of stories of women who have made sacrificial choices over heart-wrenching objections. On occasion, I am priviliged to share stories here. Today, Ginny is sharing grace-filled stories. Do go visit. The stories call you.

needle & thREAD

Not much more to report here. Above, you can see the sum total of all the progress I've made on those flannel nightgowns. This Butterick pattern is marked "very easy." I cannot understand the directions. Cari came to my rescue and stepped me through the first few steps. Even she said those directions were hard to understand. I so, so wish that Oliver + S had a nightgown pattern. I'm seriously considering making these pjs for the other two girls. But I love granny gowns...

A few weeks ago, two different people from two completely different circles of my life suggested I read Brene Brown. I checked out her blog and read reviews on Amazon and then I downloaded the audio versions of the Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly to my iPhone. I started with Gifts of Imperfection. I only listen when I'm at the gym. It's like a mini-retreat several times a week.

I really, really like Gifts of Imperfection. The slim volume is full of insight for people pursuing a "wholehearted" (the author's word) life. Some of her anecdotes were so spot-on it was eerie. And the Audible version is very well read. The problem with listening while working out is that I do get distracted. I start paying attention to heartrates and exertion levels and the lady two rows in front and three columns over who is running about 10 times harder and faster than I am. I'm definitely going to listen to it again. But... like so many books on Audible, I got the print version, too. I know that I want to highlight quotes and copy some of them into my journal. I just can't do that with the auditory version, especially while exercising. I really like auditory books; but I like to read them, too. Bad, I know.

 

What are you sewing and reading this week? I really do want to hear all about it!

Make sure the link you submit is to the URL of your blog post or your specific Flickr photo and not your main blog URL or Flickr Photostream. Please be sure and link to your current needle and thREAD post below in the comments, and not a needle and thREAD post from a previous week. If you don't have a blog, please post a photo to the needle & thREAD group at Flickr. 

       Include a link back to this post in your blog post or on your flickr photo page so that others who may want to join the needle and thREAD fun can find us! Feel free to grab a button here (in one of several colors) so that you can use the button to link:-)

 

The Best Wine

As I was going into Mass Sunday morning, I saw a young mom struggling with a preschooler, a toddler, and a bulky, heavy infant seat. I helped her with the door and pushed away a now familiar pang. I know it is a struggle; that stage of parenting is super hard. But I liked it. No, I really, really loved it. Revelled in it. I miss it.

Last September, Mike and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with a trip to northern California. It was Mike's idea--completely, totally, and 100% Mike's idea. He's been many times for business and he was certain I'd love it there. I was certain that I have a fear of airplanes and earthquakes and being very far from my children. I was certain that Sarah Annie was not going to be thrilled about weaning (despite the fact that she was absolutely old enough).  I was certain it was imprudent to plan any sort of trip out of town during the first week of the school year. He was gently insistent.

I was nervous, too. We'd never been away from our children for a whole week. Come to think of it, we'd never really spent a week together without him working since 1996. And that was the one vacation we'd taken in all our married life.  What if we got bored with each other? I knew that this season--the one begun when Michael's engagement coincided with the obvious fact that our baby days are over--was not the season I'd always lived in my dreams. That was the season just ending. What if I hated this season?

He wanted to start in Napa, in wine country. I didn't drink wine. What in the world was he thinking? I am the child who saw alcoholism up close and personal. Wine sets off buzzers and beepers and PTSD. Wine? Seriously?  He was thinking that I love agriculture, that I throw myself headlong into the land and I want to see it and smell it and touch it and taste it and... well, frankly winemaking is the total package. I was dubious.

But I said yes. One morning, under a deadline, I emailed him this column to proofread. And at the very end, I wrote "Let's go to San Francisco. I trust you."

So we did.

I know he worried as we drove away from the San Francisco airport. I tried to look cheerful, but my heart sunk. It was pretty ugly. But then, as we drew near to Sausalito,the cloud lifted and my soul soared. From that moment on, the trip was absolutely everything he'd hoped and so much more than I imagined. 

First, the whole wine thing was a huge success. I loved Napa valley. Just absolutely loved it. And, now, I kind of like wine, too. It's a hobby we share. From there, the trip just kept surprising me with joy. 

One night, in Monterey, after I'd skipped down Cannery Row (yes, really, skipped), and flitted through a Ghirardelli shop, and inhaled the beach at sunset (the first time I'd ever seen the sun set over the water), we had dinner outdoors. Actually, we ate outdoors almost every night, but on this night, I remember revelling in the idea that no matter how empty our house became, the "us"--Mike and me together--would be so full. And I think I was a little surprised.

So, last Sunday at Mass, when that familiar wave of want washed over me, I remembered sharing wine and conversation on the water in Monterey. I remembered that we did this, but I had a growing sense that there is true renewal in this season of life. The end of childbearing isn't the end; it's the beginning of something even deeper.

I nearly cried when Father began his homily by saying that the wine in the wedding at Cana is a symbol of joy and the wedding is analagous to marriage itself. He went on to explain that everyone expects the good wine at the beginning and so, too, everyone focuses on the giddy joy of the newly married years. For us, those were good years. And "giddy" is an excellent word for them. We worked super hard. We also giggled. A lot. 

Father went on to say that the bridal couple doesn't even notice as the joy begins to run out. It's the Blessed Mother who watches over the pair and it's she who points to the solution to the problem of lack. Do whatever he tells you. And then, everyone is surprised by the abundant excellent wine later in the wedding celebration. Later in marriage. There is this growing sense of forever joy. Forever.

Joy.

Fine, miraculous, consecrated, holy. Joy. 

We can drink deep and give thanks.

 

Gathering my Thoughts

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

I definitely have shoots of tulips coming up. It's going to be super cold tomorrow. I hope all will be well.

::listening to 

Nothing. Very nice. 

::clothing myself in 

Layers. Many, many layers. Even indoors. It's cold, my friends. And tomorrow will be colder.

 

::talking with my children about these books

Misty of Chincoteague. Katie has requested "horse read alouds." We can do that.

 

::thinking and thinking

About staying warm and keeping children warm. We have no heat and probably won't until the end of the week, depending on how long it takes to receive the part. I'm being very intentional about what we do, where we do it, what we wear, how we cook, and what we eat. It's all about warm.

::pondering prayerfully

Be still and know that I am God.

Psalm 46:10

Aimee pointed out the the NAS version is Cease striving and know that I am God. Seems the perfect verse for someone who just spent six months making list after list and getting to nearly everything on them and trying mightily not to let anyone down. Perhaps it is time to cease striving?

To that, I've added Isaiah 43:1

But now, thus says the LORD,

who created you, Jacob, and formed you, Israel:

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;

I have called you by name: you are mine.

Much more on this thought at the end of the week.

::carefully cultivating rhythm

We're getting there! Tweaks here and there to last week's schedule are going to render this week's nearly perfect, I think. Until the sports schedule shifts again;-). I've been working on our daytime learning schedule because it definitely needed some thought. Think I have that one nailed down now. My greatest challenge has been to figure out where to put our gym time. It's about two hours round trip to get there, work out, shower, and get  home. Some of those trips, I want to do with the children and some will be alone. I'm still working out the work out schedule.

::creating by hand

Flannel cozies. Katie and I sat in the warm, sunshiney window of the sewing room on Saturday afternoon and made eleven new flannel "pillows" filled with feed corn. When popped heated (the corn doesn't pop) in the microwave for three minutes, these become wonderful personal heaters. We filled a basket to overflowing on Saturay afternoon. They were fully utlized during football Sunday. Last night, I slipped a warm one beneath the covers of everyone's bed. Toasty. I'm sure those warmers will be busy all day. This project is a great one to do with children just learning to sew--nothing but straight seams, but some turning, corner practice, and a little filling challenge make for a satisfactory sewing afternoon. Then, when the cozies are so much appreciated, there is a bit of deserved afterglow. Detailed directions here.

 

::learning lessons in

 renewal. More later this week. 

::encouraging learning 

I have to amend a statement I made years ago. I said I'd never use IEW for a child under ten. Still true. For us, I don't think the Structure and Style Program is a good idea that young--I've had 7 children that age now and none of them would have benefitted at that age.  But now, the folks at Institute for Excellence in Writing have two (fairly) new programs written for beginning readers and writers. We're going to give them a try. I have lots of MP3s to download and listen to this week in order to learn the system. A teacher inservice to wedge into the regular schedule, if you will

::begging prayers

for Elizabeth DeHority and Kelly Davignon and Jen Fulwiler. And for all the folks who have asked for prayers this week.

 

::keeping house

We've vaccumed air filters and cleaned creosote from the fireplace. 

::crafting in the kitchen 

There is confusion in the kitchen. I registered for Heather Bruggeman's Whole Food Kitchen Online Workshop, which is supposed to start in February. I had hesitated and hesitated. Honestly, I'm a sucker for good visuals and everything Heather does is a good visual. I was feeling rather alone in my kitchen. It seems like every nutritious cooking endeavor is met with grumpiness, no matter how tasty. Somebody always has something negative to say. I figured the class would give me backup, because I have every intention of requiring it of my kids. 

After I registered, a friend loaned me her notebook from last year's class. Honestly, by the time I'd read the essays from every week, I was in tears. I didn't learn anything new. It was a beautiful presentation of the kitchen lifestyle I've long embraced. Until recently.

It's the grain-based, low meat kitchen that, quite honestly, doesn't work for me. Oh, but I can subsitute! I am assured that Heather's workshop could be totally gluten- and dairy- free. It can. I can completely avoid gluten and cook the alternate grains and potatoes for my family. But I can't eat them. I experimented last week with starches other than wheat. Not good. My entire system reacted violently. As in seven pounds of visible inflammation over night. The reality is that this way of cooking appeals to me. It's beautiful to me. But it makes me miserable. And sick.

But. But. But. An all paleo diet for a family this size would be very expensive and perhaps, needlessly restrictive.

I was feeling really, really despondent, perhaps unreasonably so. Food is such a relational thing for me. (Thanks for joining the conversation there. The giveaway is still open.) I felt like the people who live in this house couldn't care less about the value of the food. I think it and think it and think it. Perhaps I overthink it, you think?

Not so with the people who live here. They want to eat whatever they want, with little or no thought given to what nourishes them. And if I can't eat it? Oh, well. They'll eat without me. Furthermore, they'd be just as happy--happier, even--eating junk. Someone, who shall remain nameless, made oatmeal chocolate chip cookies four times last week. Um, yeah. I inhaled those cookies. Literally. Just breathed them in and tried to avoid the kitchen until they were gone.

By Sunday morning, I was sick and tired of thinking about food. I was also pretty miserable due to the experimentation with grains after trying some of Heather's recipes. Kristin came over for football and made Moroccan zucchini boats--no grains, dairy, beans, sugar, or potatoes. Oh my goodness! They were delicious. I was so hungy! And so grateful! 

Today is a new day. Kitchen adventures continue.

 

::loving the moments

When we are all home on Sunday evenings. Our friend Molly was home from college this weekend and joined us Sunday afternoon and evening. Patrick was missed; maybe he'll wander this way for the Super Bowl. Seems like he should be here to watch a classic showdown of highly intense, competitive, athletic brothers;-). Michael and Kristin have come over every Sunday since the wedding. We've gathered. I really, really love gathering. I know that, as soccer season begins, these Sundays might not be so cozy and easy to to pull off, but for now, I'm really loving it.

::giving thanks 

Oh, goodness! Am I giving thanks for guardian angels. On Tuesday, I took Mary Beth to the gym. I thought the steam room would do her good. She's been sick since before Christmas--first with the flu and then with pneumonia. She'd been feeling some better and she wanted a try to do something a little more physical than the half mile walk she'd been taking every morning. She got on the treadmill, and well, treaded. I finished working out, and headed downstairs to to check out the class schedules. She followed a few minutes later, down 26 stone steps to stand with me at a granite countertop. And then she passed out, falling against me so that I could cradle her head as we both dropped to the hard floor. I'm sure the EMTs had been called before we hit the floor. I'm so grateful she didn't hit her head. I'm grateful for the care on the spot and the continuing care. And I'm so, so grateful that she was right next to me when it all "went down." (She never did get to the steam room.)

Then...on Friday, a heating technician waded his way through the mess in Christian's room to the closet that holds our heating unit in order to do a routine maintenance check. He discovered two cracks in the heat exchanger. Two cracks that leak carbon monoxide. He turned off the gas immediately and explained what would have happened when the cracks grew. Yeah. Scary. Ridiculously scary. Christian is fine and happy to have a reason for the headaches and other weird things he was feeling. We're over-the-moon grateful those cracks had not yet expanded. Crazy grateful. I'm also ridiculously grateful my husband was wise enough to provide for those routine checks.

living the liturgy

We are preparing for Candlemas. Candles. I do love what they do for our home.

::planning for the week ahead

If the heating guy isn't scheduled for Friday, I think we'll go downtown for the March for Life. Mike is due to head out of town for a few days sometime this week or next. I have lots of sewing and knitting to do. I'm contemplating watching the first season of  Downton Abbey. Or maybe Call the Midwife. Yes, it's true. I've seen none of either. So, which one? Or none?

 Photo credits: Various children took the camera to record Sunday afternoon warmth yesterday.

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.} 

Gospel

John 2:1-11

There was a wedding at Cana in Galilee,
and the mother of Jesus was there.
Jesus and his disciples were also invited to the wedding.
When the wine ran short,
the mother of Jesus said to him,
“They have no wine.”
And Jesus said to her,
“Woman, how does your concern affect me?
My hour has not yet come.”
His mother said to the servers,
“Do whatever he tells you.”
Now there were six stone water jars there for Jewish ceremonial washings,
each holding twenty to thirty gallons.
Jesus told the them,
“Fill the jars with water.”
So they filled them to the brim.
Then he told them,
“Draw some out now and take it to the headwaiter.”
So they took it. 
And when the headwaiter tasted the water that had become wine,
without knowing where it came from
— although the servers who had drawn the water knew —,
the headwaiter called the bridegroom and said to him,
“Everyone serves good wine first,
and then when people have drunk freely, an inferior one;
but you have kept the good wine until now.”
Jesus did this as the beginning of his signs at Cana in Galilee
and so revealed his glory,
and his disciples began to believe in him.

Think

Many conversions, many decisions to give oneself to the service of God have been preceded by an encounter with Mary. Our Lady has encouraged us to look for God, to desire to change, to lead a new life. And so the “Do whatever he tells you” has turned into real self-giving, into a Christian vocation, which from then on enlightens all our personal life. ~St. Josemarie Escriva

Pray 

Dear Lord, Help me to hear you and hasten to obey you. Let me be open to your miracles in my every day life.

Act

Do whatever He tells you;-)

Photo credit: Nick Foss

Joy

Joy. Pink, sparkly letters glint the word from my mantel. They’ve been there since Gaudete Sunday and they will remain there through January. Joy. That Christmas morning joy. I want to hold it, keep it, live it  well past the last few notes of “We Three Kings.”

 

Christmas is exhausting. Who’s with me here? Moms? There’s so much heart and soul and effort and energy poured into the tastes and treasures and traditions of the holiday. Sometimes it’s easy to lose sight of the soul-gift we are  given.  But when the afternoon light is bouncing off the ornaments and bits of paper and ribbon remain in the corner beneath the tree and I have a moment to sit and be still in the quiet giddiness that comes after Christmas morning, I know joy. I hold it close, examine it carefully, tell myself not to forget.

 

And then, there is the after-Christmas. This year, in our family, the days after Christmas were filled with even more joy. Our first child was married and the weekend was filled with light, song, and utter delight at the blooming of God’s love. To be married in the octave of Christmas, on the Feast of the Holy Family-- of course that is joy.

 

The happy couple got away for a few days and then returned home to establish their new family in a new household. Meanwhile, back in my household, we prepared to take Patrick to college for the first time. He went a semester early and his leaving caught us a bit by surprise.  He’s bursting with enthusiasm for the adventure. I’m watching bedrooms empty in my home with astonishing speed and helping the children left behind to understand that love in not bound by time or space.

 

And then there’s the flu. It came to visit, too. Virginia, it’s not Christmas any more.

 

If it’s genuine joy though, can it be lost? In the tired and the cold and the mundane of the post-holiday days, do we really lose joy?

 

St. Francis of Assisi wrote “When spiritual joy fills hearts, the Serpent throws off his deadly poison in vain. The devils cannot harm the servant of Christ when they see he is filled with holy joy.” When Christmas fills us, when the Baby truly enters us and stays there, even January is joy.

 

Mothers, especially, are guardians of joy. Whether we intend to or not, we set the tone in our households. I watch my children carefully and I see the serpents circling. What to do? How to fill their hearts with spiritual joy and banish the serpents from my home? Blessed Mother Teresa gently reminds me that “Joy is infectious; therefore, always be full of joy.” Later, she says, “Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls. A joyful heart is the inevitable result of a heart burning with love. “ It begins with me. I must fill myself with joy so that it spills into every crevice of my home.

Joy is the Small Steps virtue for January. This January, I'm resolved to teach it, to share, to live it together.

New year’s resolution? To fill heart and soul to overflowing with Jesus so that joy is contagious. To listen to Him daily in the Word. To thank Him always, affirming that He is the font of all blessings and that He is even God over adversity. To trust in His sovereignty and willfully make Him lord of all. To worship Him daily in the Mass. To gratefully take Him into myself in Communion. And to remain in constant conversation. Contagious Christmas Joy. All year ‘round.

Part one here.

needle and thREAD

So, no sewing to report. Yet. I have a flannel nightgown day planned in honor of the forecasted snow, but that won't do much good this morning. Instead of works in progress or finished works, I have for you today the Grand Plan. Here's the sewing I have planned for the year. I figure this will keep me organized, give me a reference when I don't know what to do next, and hold me accountable (a bit) to use what I have.

First up will be flannel nightgowns made of Marmalade. I have lots of eyelet with which to trim them. Today. I must do these today.

Next up, Easter dresses. I'm planning three fairy tale dresses made of Ladies Stitching Club fabric, one in each colorway. To go with them, three Tiny Tea Leaves cardigans. One is nearly finished (I started it for Katie 18 months ago--it will be Karoline's instead) and the other two will be knit of Amy Butler Belle Organic Aran (this yarn has been discontinued).

After the Easter dresses (or maybe concurrently), this fabric will become a quilt for Mary Beth and draperies for her bedroom. The fabric is Heather Bailey Home Dec Garden District and the quilt will be our variation of the Picnic Blanket. We will do a drapery tutorial when we make these drapes. Cari's got it all written, but I want to take pictures as we go.

Then, it should be time for summer shirts and sundresses. I'll pull from the stack above.

This is Sarah Annie's stash. Pink. 

Dresses and tops for summer will come from this basket of Oliver + S patterns. We have more than enough in our collection for some variety.

Knitting after the Easter sweaters are complete will be Christmas knitting. We've got yarn stashed for scarves and cowls for cousins and teachers and special girls in our life. Still searching the perfect patterns (suggestions?). To go with the handknits, this year I'm resolved to give gifts in fabric bags. I still need to find a tutorial for nice drawstring bags.

I've set aside some bags we have to see if I can find the best method of "drawing the string." We have an abundance of Flurry fabric from the Christmas quilt. Some of it will become another quilt and the rest will be gift bags. 

I'm hoping to get to several quilt tops over the summer. I have jelly rolls of Kate Spain's new Honey, Honey set aside for the little girls. They will each get to choose the yardage for the backs and binding. I need to do that soon so that quantities aren't limited. I plan to use this quilt pattern.

I'd like to finish the California anniversary quilt. Maybe by our next anniversary?

Speaking of quilts, there is fabric here for a quilt for Mike's parents (some older Joanna Figuera) and then there is some more fabric from the quilt I made for Sarah's Posey-pie. Not sure if there's enough there for TWO more babies (you did hear she's expecting twins, didn't you?), but we're creative types around these parts; once we know gender, we'll put our heads to that.

There are some more of those fabulous Anna Maria Horner scarves to be made. I love these so much and truthfully, this fabric is earmarked for me! I hope to squeak them in rather soon. I also have a stash of ribbon. Opportunities to use pretty ribbon always seem to present themselves. It's good to be prepared.

There is also some long-ago stashed Anna Maria Horner on this shelf, enough to make a large voile quilt. I purchased it before I realized how slippery and fragile voile is. It's patiently waiting for my skills to improve. There's some velveteen, too. I was thinking about this cape. Maybe? 

That's more than enough for the year, I think. I haven't left any room for new inspirations. That's probably a good thing; I have imposed a spending freeze upon myself, too:-).

Reading? Did you notice that the girls' jelly rolls sit atop Deborah Moebe's new book? Stitch Savvy. You might remember that it was Deborah's book that got me going on this sewing path. That and Sarah's insistence that we both learn to sew. Instead of learning to sewing, Sarah had a baby. I learned to sew (a baby is better, I tell you).  Now, she's having twins. Guess that means my sewing goes into overdrive and I read Deborah's new book?

Stay tuned.

What are you sewing and reading this week? I really do want to hear all about it!

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Now, I must click this shut and focus on our pending snow day. 

And sew some flannel nightgowns. Today. Promise.

 

Still Talking Food (with a side of knitting)

After reading Cravings, I picked up An Everlasting Meal: Cooking with Economy and Grace. It's not really a cookbook, but I sure am learning some things about cooking! It's a book of foodie essays about elemental things, like how to make good stock and how to cook eggs well. I've been cooking eggs for a very long time and I promise you, I'll never look at an egg the same way again. I think we'll call it an "intentional kitchen book." It brings me back to the basics of food and what it is and what it can do with just a few simple skills. It's so well named--if you are a "judge a book by the cover" type, know that this cover suits this book. There is a certain economy to this kind of cooking and I confess that when my friend Tonia mentioned how much her food bill had dropped, she persuaded me to read the book. I consider myself a bit of a foodie and I've cooked many, many meals for quite the growing crowd. I couldn't imagine what new morsel would be between the covers, but they were there! I haven't finished yet and I do offer one caveat: there are lots of references to crusty bread brushed with olive oil and to shaved Parmesan cheese. If you are on a restricted diet, please consider that your craving alert.

I'm still knitting Katie's Tiny Tea Leaves, nearly finished with the yoke. Knitting and sewing time seem a bit scarcer than I'd like lately. Not quite sure why...

Join Ginny for more tales of reading and knitting.

Gathering my Thoughts

I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

My amaryllis bloomed late. I'm so glad. I've had the time to pay attention to it and it would have been lost in the crazy if it had bloomed on time.

::listening to 

Nothing. Very nice. 

::clothing myself in 

Wool. I wore a wool blend cardigan yesterday and didn't wheeze. Progress perhaps? Elizabeth Zimmermann writes that if you have a child who is allergic to wool, you work a little into her sweaters, increasing the amount each time you knit, kind of like allergy shots;-). I thought she was nuts, but I've been knitting with a blend recently and I just tried to wear a blend and survived. One day, I'd love to knit with a Madelinetosh yarn. Ginny gave me a small ball of it a couple years ago and we both were surprised by the ferocity of the way my body reacted. Still, I remember that yarn and hope to re-acquaint myself.

 

::talking with my children about these books

Shakespeare. I think it's time to re-institute Shakespeare Fridays.

 

::thinking and thinking

 Last fall some time, I took all social media apps off my phone. Except Instagram;-) Very good move. I felt much less stressed. I also all but left Twitter altogether, not intentionally, just because it wasn't on my phone and it's that kind of thing--you sort of have to do it in real time, or at least I do. Then, I stepped it up a notch and limited myself to one Facebook check-in a day, at least on most days. Even better. (I will note here, though, that Facebook has an annoying glitch that moves things off one's wall. I've missed messages because I waited to long to check in. Really, don't try to contact me via Facebook. Too unreliable.)

The reality is I hate sitting here in front of this screen and typing. I don't hate blogs or writing (as in composing) or the internet. I just hate the physical act of being tethered here.

I've switched all my planning--calendars, lesson plans, listmaking--to paper this year. Pretty paper. I really do love pretty paper. The paper in my life--the treasured books, old letters, prints of photographs, the daily missal--I'm bringing it to the center and moving the computer to the margin. At least I'm trying to do that.

On December first, knowing that my family was going to need my undivided attention and a lot of it, I pulled back from the computer even more. I ran a lot of old posts on my blog and I rarely checked in on social media. Even though those were very intense weeks, full of lists, and even though I was running hard and fast and staying very task-oriented, I felt a certain sense of balance.

At bedtime a few nights ago, Karoline commented, "You aren't on the computer very much any more." That was it. Just an observation. The reality is that all of the above, plus the fact that I've been sharing my laptop with Christian, makes her observation very accurate.  

I like it that way.

And now, I'm trying to figure out how to hold onto that and still be the writer my soul begs me to be. I'm wondering how my eagerness for a new camera will play into this scenario. I want to capture the images and to learn to do it well. But I'm worried about adding photo editing time.

If I'm here, reading or typing in the glare of this screen, I'm not knitting or sewing or gardening or reading a picture book to a little girl who looks nothing like a toddler any more.

Thinking. Lots of thinking.

::pondering prayerfully

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

Aimee pointed out the the NAS version is Cease striving and know that I am God. Seems the perfect verse for someone who just spent six months making list after list and getting to nearly everything on them and trying mightily not to let anyone down. Perhaps it is time to cease striving?

::carefully cultivating rhythm

Last night, after our first Monday of the "new normal," I was with Nick in the kitchen before turning off the lights on the day. He sighed a happy little sigh and said, "Doesn't it feel good to have the house clean and have gotten so much done in this day?" He noticed. It did feel good. The day wasn't perfect and it wasn't without its own drama, but there was a really palpable sense of peace in my home. It's rhythm, establishing itself.

::creating by hand

I think I will try to conquer those nightgowns I once intended for St. Lucy's Day. And I've been happily knitting the first of the Easter sweaters. I do plan a post of knitting and sewing plans, mostly just to create a visual organizer for myself. (This remains the same as last week. I'm going to make myself get to those today. I need to get back into a sewing rhythm, I guess.)

 

::learning lessons in

fitness. I went to the gym. I spent six minutes on the elliptical. I thought I was going to die. Even hours later, I felt terrible. Clearly, there is a big difference between the recumbent bike in my closet or walking briskly in my neighborhood and that monster machine at the gym. I'm scared to go back. Fitness people feel free to comment. 

{Just an aside, as I shushed the interior voice telling me what a sad sack I am, I did remind myself that even though everyone around me was clearly a fitness superstar, it was highly doubtful anyone had borne nine children. My body is pretty amazing. Just sayin' ;-) } 

 

::encouraging learning 

Mike is taking a Spanish class practically at dawn every Wednesday. He had several years of Spanish in high school and college, but his Miami office (ESPN Deportes) is entirely native Spanish speakers. It was well past time for a brush up. In solidarity, everyone here is re-commiting to Rosetta Stone. Karoline is quite certain she's already bilingual. 

::begging prayers

for Elizabeth DeHority and Kelly Davignon and Jen Fulwiler.

 

::keeping house

Last time Patrick left, I never re-wrote the chore chart. I'm not sure why. I think it might just have coincided with a time in my life when I was tired of thinking through homemaking routines over and over again. I'm not sure. Once upon a time, a friend and I traded those lists and tweaked and thought it all through so much that you would have thought we were employed full time in some sort of domestic think tank. And then, poof! I just started running this house with a very loose--not written any where--kind of plan. 

I'm not sure I can commit yet, but I think I might have a new homemaking notebook itching away at my fingers.

::crafting in the kitchen 

I made an enormous pork roast yesterday. Fifteen pounds. Mike commented that dinner was really good last night. I'm glad he thinks so. We're going to be eating it all week. Your suggestions for leftover, slow-cooked Dutch oven pork most gratefully accepted.

 

::loving the moments

On the day that Patrick left, without any real plan to do so, I started sharing snippets on Instagram. (You can see those pictures here.) It did occur to me that this was raw stuff and perhaps it was inappropriate for such a venue. But something happened. Joy said it best later in the day, when she wrote, "I'm grateful for Instagram on days like today...what I prayed and how I prayed changed as the day went on and the pics that came up. I'd never thought to use it that way before, but I do think my prayers for my friends will change after today."  I couldn't agree more. I knew people were praying. It was tangible and very real. Like Joy, I think the way I look at Instagram and pray accordingly will be forever changed.  (Documented on Instagram. Follow me @heartofmyhome or click the camera icon in the top right sidebar. See you there!)

::giving thanks 

::for the new normal. 

::For time with friends from high school. It never ceases to amaze me that after all these years and their countless moves, Shelley and I can still gather in the kitchen and pick up right where we left off in the sharing of hearts. 

living the liturgy

Yesterday, I took a few moments and wrote down the baptism anniversaries of all my children in my calendar for the year. Today, I plan to do that for godchildren, too. I really want to make a little fuss on their baptism days every year. I always intend to, but often forget. I want it to be a solid family tradition, just like birthdays and namedays.  (Cool little things: Mike was baptized on my birthday. Well, not really, because I wasn't born yet, but he made it a pretty special day the year before I arrived. And Nicholas was baptized twelve years before Michael's wedding date, in the same church, by the same priest. Twelve years later, he was best man on that day! He says that day counts as a good baptism celebration. Not sure how I'll ever top it, actually.)

::planning for the week ahead

We are going to keep doing the new normal. I'm looking very forward to a visit from a friend. We are going to make some grand plans and go out to dinner, just us. I'm so ready for girl time, I can't even contain my excitement!

 

Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God

{This post is a part of the Cravings blog tour.}

Five years ago, I resolved not to diet. (Go ahead. Read it. I'll be here.) As I said then, I come from a long line of dieters, and an astonishing number of women with eating disorders. For the rest of that story, you'll have to click the link. For today, I want to tell you about the last five years and a most extraordinary book. 

Cravings: A Catholic Wrestles with Food, Self-Image, and God was written by Mary deTurris Poust. 

Mary is an author, columnist, journalist, speaker, and blogger who has written for dozens of Catholic and secular publications. I think you will want to add her blog, Not Strictly Spiritual to your "read frequently" list. I first read Mary when I picked up Walking Together: Discovering the Catholic Tradition of Spiritual Friendship.

The funniest thing happened right after I read that book. Well, maybe not the funniest, but definitely worth smiling about. Linda, one of my dearest, closest friends in the whole world called to tell me that she was reading this awesome book that just reminded her of us and she wanted me to read it with her. Had I ever heard of Walking Together?

Um, yep. A little;-). I had blogged about it and had a delightful conversation with the author and Lisa Hendey for a Faith and Family podcast that very day.

Linda doesn't read my blog:-)

I love her any way. But I digress.

So when Mary asked me to review this book, I jumped at the chance. Honestly, I wasn't all that enthused about the subject matter, but Mary is an excellent writer and I really like to read her books because she thinks big thoughts and she thinks them thoroughly. In this rapid-fire internet world, those big thought, thorough books are becoming rare.

I wanted to read this book, not because I have an obsession with dieting or any kind of eating disorder, or even a poor body image. I wanted to read this book because, dang!, it's really, really hard to eat the way I have to in order to avoid setting off an autoimmune reaction. Between Hashimoto's and Celiac disease, I've learned to eliminate all grains, dairy, legumes,and sugar. Ideally, the meat in my life hasn't been fed grains, either. Think about that a minute. That's a whole bunch of food that's not in play. I feel like I think about food all the time, just to figure out what to eat next. And frankly, I'm tired of wreatling with food all the time. I don't diet, but sometimes I starve--not because I mean to, but because there truly isn't anything available to eat. Poor planning. 

So, I read this book with different eyes from most of the reviewers on the grand blog tour. Much of what Mary wrote about the voices we hear as women rang true, but for me, I was looking for something else. I had mostly quieted those voices; the taunting of different voices was ringing in my ears.

From the middle of July until last week, I stuck carefully to a very strict eating plan. And I felt well, really well. And then, all at once, the wheels fell off. I helped myself to spoonful of cream cheese frosting, then, two chocolate chips, and before I knew it, I was dipping bread in butter. That day, writhing with a stomachache, my mouth full of blisters, I tried to help my family see my son off to college. Emotional eating? No way! I had conquered that, remember?

Maybe not.

Walk with me a few minutes through Mary's book. I'll pull some quotes that spoke to me and hope they speak to you, too. They are a bit eclectic. Think of it as a buffet.

Make a list. Start to write down the tihngs you've always wanted to do, a Bucket List of sorts. I did this not long ago and was suprised by some of the things that made their way onto my list...Weight loss or  poor body image don't seem to have anything to do with those things, at least not on the surface. But when you dig a little deeper, you begin to see that a poor self-image makes us less likely to tackle something new, something that might call attention to us, when what we really want is to fade into the background.

Oh, yes. That fade into the background desire. I know it well.

I've often said the greatest weapon I have in the war against eating something that makes me sick is the Eucharist. If I can remember between times that I receive Communion that I won't even take the Lord in a form that contains gluten, it's hard to persuade msyelf that any other forbidden food is worthy.

Mary quotes Cathy Adamkievwicz, who says, 

Whenever I go to Mass, I'm offered Jesus himself in the Eucharist. It's become a profound reminder that he will feed me--repeatedly. He is always there, ready to give me exactly what I need.

And really, I don't need a grilled Brie sandwich on artisan sourdough.

Nurturing the connection between body and soul starts us down a road less traveled, one where we crave healthier foods, slower mealtimes, more physical and spiritual space. From this new perspective, we willingly choose fewer mindless high-calorie fillers [or fewer autoimmune triggers?] because we don't want to bog down our bodies and souls with things that wear us out, fatten us up, and lead to sluggishness and dissatisfaction and acedia, or inertia...We can find magic in the moments of chopping, stirring, baking, eating, savoring, and sitting around a table and enjoying our food rather than standing at a counter eating directly from the bag. But that shift in attitude takes work, so get out your shovel and let's start digging.

My college going-away-day binge?  I don't think it was deep-seated emotional muck that required a steam shovel. Instead, I think it was largely fatigue and about eight weeks worth of to-do lists that never once bulleted self-care moments. It was the royal crash my spiritual director had warned about the night before the wedding, when he gently chided, "Martha, Martha..." This book and a small spade, and I think I can shovel out of this one.

I loved Mary's reminiscing about Sunday afternoons in Brooklyn. They reminded me very much of my cousin Ellie's similar memories. I could smell the Bolognese gravy and hear the great-aunts arguing about the right way to make the perfect meatball. I don't think the value of Sunday dinners can be overstated.

In the chapter on balance, Brother Victor of The Gift of Simplicity and the wonderful Monastery Kitchen books, writes, 

Make preparing food an enjoyable time. People can get into it and learn the value of these different elements, how to balance a meal. It's not just a question of eating and filling ourselves up and then just forgetting. Making food is something that can really bring quality into your own personal life and your family, not only on feast days and special occasions. Do it as an everyday thing, even if it's in a simpler form, and then perhaps on weekends or feast days you do something more elaborate.

My kitchen time of late has not been enjoyable time. It's been crazy-busy, hard pressed, and utilitarian, even when feeding large crowds of loved ones for special occasions.

Brother Victor again:

The daily rhythm of a monastic life attaches great importance to the time spent in the kitchen and food preparation, to time in the refectory and the act of consuming food. Saint Benedict attached great importance to these matters, and throughout the whole of monastic tradition, food retained a sacred character because of the importance given to it by Christ himself. Anyone participating today in the life of a monastery notices the importance the monks and nuns give to their meals, their practical and healthy method of cooking, and their reverential way of serving food at the table and their equally reverent consumption of it.

I've been at war with food. A former foodie with an Italian passion for food and feeding my family, I've been fighting food this past year. It's truly too hard to feed an entire very large family with my food restrictions. After reading this book, I'm ready to fill myself with Christ, and--so filled--to cook with intention for my family, secure in knowing that I can forego some of the foods they are eating because food isn't bigger than the Spirit that fills me. 

I'll let you know how it goes. 

I highly recommend the book and I have a copy to give away. Leave a comment below; join the foodie conversation (I truly do love foodie conversations). I'm going to try to pop in frequently in the next couple days and follow up on comments.

You may leave separate comments if you share this post/giveaway on Twitter and Facebook (or even Instagram--I love Instagram. And foodie Instagram, all the better. I'm @heartofmyhome). The contest ends at 8 pm EST on January 25, 2013. 

Also, there's this giveaway. It's a biggie! Win a Williams-Sonoma gift card.

 

 

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.} 

 

Gospel

Luke 3:15, 21-22

The people were filled with expectation,
and all were asking in their hearts
whether John might be the Christ.
John answered them all, saying,
“I am baptizing you with water,
but one mightier than I is coming.
I am not worthy to loosen the thongs of his sandals.
He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire.”

After all the people had been baptized
and Jesus also had been baptized and was praying,
heaven was opened and the Holy Spirit descended upon him
in bodily form like a dove.
And a voice came from heaven,
“You are my beloved Son;
with you I am well pleased.”

Think:

"The Lord was baptized, not to be cleansed Himself, but to cleanse the waters, so that those waters...might have the power of Baptism." ~St. Ambrose

Pray:

Remember how beautiful the blessing of parents is after a child is baptized?

A. Celebrant: God the Father, through his Son, the Virgin Mary's child, has brought joy to all Christian mothers, as they see the hope of eternal life shine on their children. May he bless the mother of this child. She now thanks God for the gift of her child. May she be one with him (her) in thanking him for ever in heaven, in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All: Amen.

Celebrant: God is the giver of all life, human and divine. May he bless the father of this child. He and his wife will be the first teachers of their child in the ways of faith. May they be also the best of teachers, bearing witness to the faith by what they say and do, in Christ Jesus our Lord.

All: Amen.

Act: 

Read this part of the second reading from today's Mass again:

When the kindness and generous love
of God our savior appeared,
not because of any righteous deeds we had done
but because of his mercy,
He saved us through the bath of rebirth
and renewal by the Holy Spirit,
whom he richly poured out on us
through Jesus Christ our savior,
so that we might be justified by his grace
and become heirs in hope of eternal life.

(Titus 3:4-7)

Tap into to abundant grace available to baptized Christians, and look for opportunities this week to pour mercy richly over the lives of the people we meet.