In the Heart of my Home

For Sarah Annie, On Her Fourth Birthday

You are from a pink and purple bedroom with bluebell photos on the wall,

from a tiny but still too big pumpkin hat on the day you were born,

from handmade dresses and sentimental sweaters, patchwork Toms and special Hannas.

You are from a red brick house that smells like blessed candles, from icons on the walls, and the many voices of big brothers and sisters echoing off hardwood floors.

You are from the tulips and the stinky pear tree in the spring, from pansies and mums in the fall-- the front porch welcoming committees that smile at you as you come and go.

You are from American Girl dolls and shelves crammed with picture books

from Foss & MacDonald, Grzymala & DeMell

from athletes and dancers and thoughtful writers

from passionate politicos, media pioneers, and quiet crafters.

You are from soccering on weekends, dancing all day every day

from writing it all down and taking lots of pictures.

You are from handmade rosaries, the Angelus at noon, and a tiny medal around your neck

from Chick-Fil-A and sushi and eggs-and-toast-and-toast-to-dip-in (but not all at the same time)

from three grandpas in the Navy and road trips to Charlottesville and Ponte Vedra.

You are from Disney World with the best brothers and sisters, who made it all magic just for you; from Bluebell Week every year in dear, familiar woods

from a Daddy who lights up at the mere whisper of your name, scoops you up into giant hugs, and snuggles you through the night.

You are from a mama who has held every moment captive, cupped your sweet face in her hands a dozen times a day, and thanked God again and again for the gift of you.

You are from a family that reminds you daily that you are a miracle and we are so grateful for the grace and joy you bring to our lives.

You are the littlest of the girlies, still a wee bit fragile, ever darling, always loved beyond measure.

 

"I am from" poem templates here. 

Sad News {Updated}

Our friend and mentor, Barbara Curtis, died this afternoon, surrounded by her family. She will be so missed. 

Eternal rest, grant unto her O Lord 

and let perpetual light shine upon her.

May she rest in peace 

May her soul and the soul of all the faithful departed,

through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Amen.

 

A funeral Mass will be celebrated for Barbara Curtis on Saturday,
November 3rd, at 12:30pm at St. Francis de Sales Catholic Church in
Purcellville, Virginia.  There will be a reception in the hall
following Mass.  The family will leave after about an hour for a
private burial, but visitors are welcome to stay longer at the
reception.  There will not be a viewing.  Please continue to pray for
the family while they grieve and heal.

We are working on a PO Box for Mass cards and notes of sympathy. I'll update here tomorrow with those details.

to Give

Four years ago (almost to the day) Barbara Curtis and I crossed paths, quite literally. She was at Loudoun Hospital while her husband Tripp was recovering from surgery. I was there with a baby in the NICU. Barbara had just come into the Church and she told me how she longed to bring its traditions alive in her home for her children. Hers was a family in crisis then--Tripp's healing was complicated; their finances were burdensome; they had just lost their home. After I arrived home with my new baby, I wrote to you all and told you about Barbara. I asked you then to help her to celebrate Advent. And help you did! You volunteered to send care packages to the Curtis family, packages full of faith! You sent Advent in boxes from all over the country. 

I wish I were here to ask for Advent boxes today. I'm not. I'm here with a very heavy heart to share a little of the Curtis family's pain. Barbara suffered a massive stroke yesterday. Her condition is grave. Barbara is not conscious and will not regain consciousness. We grieve.

Because this is a very real community, as soon as you heard, you wanted to help. To give. And, like me, you felt a bit helpless. We pray together for Barbara, and Tripp, and all twelve children. We want to do something more.

Before she was stricken, Barbara was struggling with a huge challenge. She had just learned she was unable to re-enroll Maddy at Catholic University for the spring semester because the family had not been able to make adequate payments for tuition. In order register, Maddy has to raise $5000. Barbara was working so hard to make that happen! In her words, 

Please let them know what a serious student Maddy is, how serious a future Maddy has in opera.

Even as a freshman, she was cast in the fall opera with a solo part and in the spring opera.  This fall she also has a background part, and in the spring she has the fifth lead in Gounoud's Romeo and Juliet.  This is incredible for someone her age (19).  

I know it was a stretch for us to send her here, but the education she is receiving is so solid and she adores Catholic University...  

When I called financial aid and asked about emergency funds, they said money is very tight. ...I know someday  CUA  will be so proud to have nurtured Maddy.

Believe me, this isn't just a stage mother or anyone starry-eyed.  I have 12 kids and that gives me a lot of objectivity. Some of my kids are gifted.  But Maddy not only had the greatest gift, she has worked so hard! And she is so filled with joy. It reminds me of Eric Liddell in Chariots of Fire, when he says " When I run, I feel his pleasure."

Also, Maddy lives very simply, buying her clothes at thrift stores and getting around on Metro. She sold her car when she left for her senior year for spending money.  

Yes, I would so appreciate your prayers and any other way you can help.  Thank you.

Barbara is not the starry-eyed type. Barbara knows how formidable the task of raising a family like hers is and she is faithful to that task, grateful for that great joy. Please let's help her! As Tripp and the family gather, can we let them know that this is a true community of faith? Can we show them how far Barbara has reached and how much we, too, love her children?  Can we please send Maddy back to school in the spring, so that part of her world is safe and sound and there for her? Please wrap your arms and your hearts and your prayers around this family now. And, then, please take a moment to send the link on so someone else can be blessed with the opportunity to give.

Barbara Curtis Mommylife Memorial Fund

PO Box 682 Lovettsville, VA 20180-0682

 

Urgent Prayer Request

Please pray for Barbara Curtis--a neighbor, a blogger, a friend--who has suffered a hemorrhagic stroke. Her condition is very grave. Pray for her family and for her doctors. Pray, pray, pray.

I promise to post details as I am able. 

Hunkering Down Monday Morning

I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

I admit that storms fascinate me. I really do love weather. This storm is awesome in the truest meaning of the word. Right now, it's just a rainy morning. We shall see what the day brings...

::listening to 

The Weather Channel. I'm resisting the urge to switch to Fox News. Election news, Benghazi news, and political advertising has seeped deep into me.  It's makes me cranky and sad. I'm going to try a news fast. That "First Time" ad was my undoing. I'm so sad for my kids. We have become a culture where political ads are totally inappropriate for school-aged children.

::clothing myself in 

Jeans and a hooded sweatshirt. 

 

::talking with my children about these books

Hurricane reading. 

 

::thinking and thinking

about how different life looks at this stage than the way I envisioned it.

::pondering prayerfully

"Raise [your children] with great care in the holy fear of God, because on this depends their health and blessings for your house."

- Don Bosco

 

::carefully cultivating rhythm

I watch footage of the surf in Virginia Beach right now and I can't help but feel like that's how I have felt for several months. Up and over and crash and then recede. There has been so little rhythm. I have almost no control over the rhythms of the lives of my big kids, but they live here, and so I am at the mercy of what to me seems like a chaotic way of life with them. On the other hand, my little ones desperately need rhythm and I'm nearly exhausted trying to protect it for them.

But that's the kids. I need rhythm. And I need silence. When I have neither, I truly feel it physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There is a fine line between being available to my children and meeting their needs and setting myself up for devastating burnout. The careful cultivation of healthy rhythm has to be a priority. I'm revisiting this post over and over and over again, with the hope that I can truly live it and truly heal.

::creating by hand

I've been knitting away  on my California shawl. It's slow going, but I'm taking the bag everywhere I go and trying to knit a few rows many times a day. Knitting has a rhythm of its own and if I can settle myself into it throughout the day, I find it helps me to be peaceful.

The drapery fabric has arrived and hopefully, if Sandy allows, my friend Cari will come at the end of the week and we can start sewing. The fabric is just beautiful and I'm so excited by the prospect of draping it around my windows. 

::learning lessons in

children. 

::encouraging learning 

School is canceled today for public school students and my college students, as well. We will build a fire and listen to the wind and proceed with our lessons.

::begging prayers

for my peace of heart and others' gentle forgiveness as I try to catch up on things let go during the firestorm of the last couple weeks. I let more than a couple people down and I'm going to need a huge infusion of grace to regain equilibrium.

::keeping house

I'm trying a new (to me) app. It's very much like FlyLady, but it's on my phone. It's been a long while since I gave Fly Lady a sincere effort. Perhaps she has an app, too. This app lays out the chores and there is a way to tailor it, but for now, I'm just doing the next thing. There doesn't seem to be a way to make kids' chores assignments, so I'm just going to delegate as I go for now. Speaking of kids' chores, I've noticed that most of my children's friends don't have chores. When my kids discover this, there are lots of quesitons. I've got answers. I think chores are super important. (Oh, look, I didn't know it but here's something I wrote ages ago. I just googled my name and chores. Maybe I'll take this piece and blog it. Or maybe I'll just sit here with my tea and try to be amused at my confident 28-year-old self.)

 

::crafting in the kitchen 

We are so stocked up for this storm! Nick had a soccer game in Maryland yesterday. I felt the temperature drop significantly and the winds pick up during the game. The children could sense it, too. We made a quick stop at Trader Joe's on the way home. The plan was to get lunch. But we all seemed to feel this need to stockpile baking supplies. I had already done my storm shopping, so this was just icing on the cake. Or more cake, as the case might be. I had already made it clear that much of this food was not to be touched before the storm. Needless to say, there was great delight last night when it began to rain just before bedtime. Daddy complied with pleas for a fire and s'mores. Let the hurricane party begin!

::loving the moments

when I awaken early enough to enjoy the sounds of wind and rain before the house fills with the noise of children trapped inside.

::giving thanks 

for a big, strong house; buried power lines, good books, lovely fabric, and plenty of yarn. 

living the liturgy

Have you heard about the Advent Workshop? Do come hang out with us! 

Incidentally, I love All Sants Day. This is one I want to live fully every year. One of my dearest internet memories is a friendship begun with a blog post on All Saints Day.

We're going to do it up big.

And...I'm doing a happy dance. Our mission has relocated daily Mass (again, I know). This time, it's five minutes away with no chance of traffic. Happy, happy, happy! This my friends, is truly living liturgy!

::picture thoughts 

come from my iPhone. Mary Beth took some beautiful pictures with the "real" camera. I don't want to risk waking children to find said camera and cord. These are my calm before the storm pictures.

::planning for the week ahead

Sarah will turn four on Wednesday. Seems like little else is important enough to note.

 

~~~~~~~~~~

My children surprised me with this video a few years ago. They decided to offer our All Saints litany to our family's special saints. This one's a keeper--those dear voices do me in every time. (Apparently, even Karoline's favorite doll has a patron saint.)

Blessed Feast to you all!

 

 

 

Visit Suscipio for more almanacs.

C is for Cranberry Chicken with Cornbread Stuffing: Comfort Before the Crazy-rain

2 lbs boneless chicken breasts

1/3 c. flour

1t. salt

4T. butter

11/2c. fresh cranberries

3/4c. brown sugar

1t. orange peel

3/4c. orange juice

1/4t. each cinnamon and ginger

Coat chicken in flour and salt and brown in butter.  Combine remaining ingredients and bring to a boil.  Pour over chicken, cover and bake at 350F for 45 min. to an hour.  Great served with stuffing or rice! I substituted almond meal for the flour. It wasn't the same, but it was fine.

Election Novena

Four years ago, I spent most of the election season on bedrest. I read way too many political blogs and watched way too many talking heads. It was an election about which I felt deeply. And, so, I wrote about it. I'm pretty sure I offended some people. This time around, I've not blogged politics at all. I've watched with certain sense of proud bemusement as Patrick, in particular, has become a politico. I remember fondly an internship on Capitol Hill at his age. But (with exception of Twitter parties during debates--can't help myself) I've not gone there this time. There is so much other chaos in my life just now that I'd prefer to opt out of election drama online.

Last weekend, my pastor offered a powerful homily and he gave me pause. He unequivocably said we have to speak up. All week, I've prayed about how to do that.

Let's just pray. From now until election day, let's just pray.  

O God, we acknowledge you today as Lord, Not only of individuals, but of nations and governments. We thank you for the privilege Of being able to organize ourselves politically And of knowing that political loyalty Does not have to mean disloyalty to you. We thank you for your law, Which our Founding Fathers acknowledged  And recognized as higher than any human law. We thank you for the opportunity that this election  year puts before us, To exercise our solemn duty not only to vote, But to influence countless others to vote, And to vote correctly. Lord, we pray that your people may be awakened. Let them realize that while politics is not their salvation, Their response to you requires that they be politically active. Awaken your people to know that they are  not called to be a sect fleeing the world But rather a community of faith renewing the world. Awaken them that the same hands lifted up to you in prayer  Are the hands that pull the lever in the voting booth; That the same eyes that read your Word Are the eyes that read the names on the ballot, And that they do not cease to be Christians When they enter the voting booth. Awaken your people to a commitment to justice To the sanctity of marriage and the family, To the dignity of each individual human life, And to the truth that human rights begin when human lives begin, And not one moment later. Lord, we rejoice today That we are citizens of your kingdom. May that make us all the more committed To being faithful citizens on earth. We ask this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.

Archbishop Chaput on the election.

And here's a small smile. Patrick and Mary Beth have been in charge of civics lessons for the preschool set;-)

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.}

Gospel 

Mark 10:46-52

As Jesus was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a sizable crowd,
Bartimaeus, a blind man, the son of Timaeus,
sat by the roadside begging.
On hearing that it was Jesus of Nazareth,
he began to cry out and say,
"Jesus, son of David, have pity on me."
And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent.
But he kept calling out all the more,
"Son of David, have pity on me."
Jesus stopped and said, "Call him."
So they called the blind man, saying to him,
"Take courage; get up, Jesus is calling you."
He threw aside his cloak, sprang up, and came to Jesus.
Jesus said to him in reply, "What do you want me to do for you?"
The blind man replied to him, "Master, I want to see."
Jesus told him, "Go your way; your faith has saved you."
Immediately he received his sight
and followed him on the way.

Think 

"As far as I am concerned the greatest suffering is to feel alone, unwanted, unloved. The greatest suffering is also having no one, forgetting what an intimate, truly human relationship is, not knowing what it means to be loved, not having a family or friends." ~Mother Theresa

Pray

Open my eyes, Jesus. Help me to see the lonely, unwanted and unloved in my world. Don't let me brush him aside. Don't let me be impatient. Help me stretch as You did, towards the unnoticed.

Act

Despite the grandness of His mission, despite the vast,infinite scope of His majesty, Jesus was a detail guy. He noticed. He attended to the least of these with purposeful dignity. Square your shoulders, Mama. Open your eyes. Who are the least in your midst? What are the details? Bring peace, order, and dignity to those people and places. Heal hearts and leave no one feeling unnoticed or unloved.

It's All So Much Better Outside

The place where we've been learning out of doors since the late 1980s: Hidden Pond Nature Center

The super awesome excellent book that makes nature study so easy to bring to life all year 'round: The Nature Connection: An Outdoor Workbook for Kids, Families, and Classrooms

 

needle & thREAD

I think it's safe to say I've found my sewing rhythm again. Despite the fact that this morning began rather poorly, it's been a good sewing day. Karoline woke me at 5:00 with the announcement that she was going to throw up. And she did. Then she asked if we could please go down to the sewing room and make something for Becca's new baby. That's my girl!

She helps me to sew by pressing the pedal. Unfortunately, she didn't wait until I said, "Go!" The needle went clear through my finger and broke in two. I sat there a minute and contemplated taking a picture for Instagram (Mike has an iPhone now and he was in NC; I wanted him to be duly impressed). Then I contemplated waking Paddy to help me, but decided he's been cranky lately and needed sleep. So I pulled out one end, then the other end, then the thread. Karoline offered me a bandaid. After I pulled out the tip end, I heard it drop. I thought it dropped to the floor, but I couldn't find it. Then I went back to sewing. My machine kept jamming, so I think maybe the tip is stuck beneath the bobbin. For about a half hour, I took the machine apart, cleaned it, looked for the tip, tried again. Still nothing. Karoline wandered back into the room.

"How are those pants coming?" said she.

"I'm kind of stuck. I think the tip of the needle fell into the sewing machine after I pulled it out of my finger."

"Are we still taking about your injury, here? You need to get sewing before that baby gets too big. There are no wimps in heaven."

I thought I'd die laughing. Becca taught her that "no wimps" line and she so delivered it perfectly.

I did finish the pants and they are so cute I'd love to make a whole wardrobe of them. Pretty and pink and perfectly reversible. I love them! The pattern is Quick Change Trousers in Anna Maria Horner's book Handmade Beginnings. When I first got the book, it made me sad. I just wanted to sew for a baby. Now, it makes me happy. There are always lots of babies in my life and a little something handmade in a gift bag is just so sweet.

I also started putting Sarah's Class Picnic Blouse together. It's slow going because Katie is sewing along on her own bouse as I sew Sarah's. I have a doable deadline, though. I want this flannel blouse for her birthday. I'm toying with the idea of the All Set pants, which are like the Quick Change Trousers, only for "big girls" or a flannel Lazy Days skirt with AMH flannel and ribbon. I don't know. I'm afraid the flannel pants with the shirt will look like pjs. But the pants are so cute, I'd love to make more...I still have a week to get it finished in time. Skirt or pants, what say you?

My reading has been pretty limited to Mission of Motherhood, but, speaking of Anna Maria Horner, I got a note that my copy of Anna Maria's Needleworks Notebook has shipped. I'm so looking forward to reading it. Given the current state of my finger, I think embroidery is not in my immediate future. She's always great reading, though.

I'm sitting here tonight fighting the urge to stash fabric. I heard we might have a hurricane of huge proportions next week. I just want to be sure I have enough thread and elastic and fabric to sew my way through the storm. Totally rational, right?

~~~~

What about you? Are you starting to think Christmas gifts? Big plans for winter home dec?  Or are you embroidering? Pulling a needle with thread through lovely fabric to make life more beautiful somehow? Would you share with us just a single photo (or more) and a brief description of what you're up to? Will you tell us about what you're reading, also? Would you talk sewing and books with us? I'd love that so much.

Make sure the link you submit is to the URL of your blog post or your specific Flickr photo and not your main blog URL or Flickr Photostream. Please be sure and link to your current needle and thREAD post below in the comments, and not a needle and thREAD post from a previous week. If you don't have a blog, please post a photo to the needle & thREAD group at Flickr. 

       Include a link back to this post in your blog post or on your flickr photo page so that others who may want to join the needle and thREAD fun can find us! Feel free to grab a button here (in one of several colors) so that you can use the button to link:-)

 

Yarn Along with Edith

Hello again! This is Edith and I'm so excited to be here with you, joining my friend Ginny for this week's Yarn Along. I thoroughly enjoyed our time together for needle and thREAD and am just plain giddy about turning our conversation to knitting. I do so love knitting!

Allow me to begin with a single name:

Elizabeth Zimmerman

A legend, that one. Don't you just love her?

I do. Not only because she is, like me, a quirky continental knitter. (You've read the story of her governess "correcting" the English-style knitting she learned from her mother? Apparently continental knitting had been all but abandoned in England during World War II due to its association with Germany. Ah, the politics of knitting!) No, it's not simply common technique behind my fondness. There's a true genius about Elizabeth Zimmerman and what I adore most is her brilliant humor. 

Really, you must pick up a copy of one of her books. Knitter's Almanac? Knitting Without Tears? Or how about a volume of her columns, The Opinionated Knitter? Whether or not you venture to recreate the patterns she "unvented," you'll love her wit. 

Allow me to tempt you with her instructions for knitting a ribbed turtleneck:

Pick up a multiple of 4 stitches around the neck and work in knit-two, purl-two ribbing until you are sick of it.

She's charming. And truly, she revolutionized knitting. Before the days of Ravelry's dizzying database of detailed patterns, knitters simply knew how to use a system of proportions to create garments. Elizabeth Zimmerman was the first to break down that mysterious knowledge. She unlocked the secret for people like me, those of us who are rather fond of following recipes. 

So I'm slowly branching out these days, trying to learn the logic of knitting. But not wanting to venture too far, too soon into uncharted percentage systems, I casted on a project based on Elizabeth Zimmerman's legendary February Baby Sweater, just to get a feel for her designs. Most likely you've heard of it, the February Lady Sweater? It's an adult-sized version of the baby cardigan adapted by Pamela Wynne, conveniently written in the style of a modern pattern. 

So far I'm loving it.

I'm knitting my February Lady in an autumnal palette, hues that remind me of October. I suppose I'm a bit off the almanac on that one, so let's just say I'm knitting an October Lady Sweater, shall we? (You can find my progress and notes here on my new Ravelry page.)

I chose a hand-dyed merino wool by the Chilean artisans of Araucania. This aran weight yarn is one of their Toconao Multy variations. It captures autumn, my favorite season. 

(And I just noticed upon uploading the photo above that my sweater coordinates perfectly with my tote. Funny. Didn't plan that one.)

I've only just finished the yoke and separated for the sleeves, but I can already tell you how much I love Elizabeth Zimmerman's gull lace pattern. Easy to memorize, easy to correct when your scooting infant pulls up on your chair and rips your work right out of your hands and hundreds of stitches fall off the ends of your needles. No use crying over dropped stitches with this pattern.

But I didn't have to work through the lace section to fall in love. My 14 year old daugther, Marianne, has her own February Lady Sweater in the works and is a bit further along than me. She's knitting hers in Spud and Chloe Sweater Yarn. She says it's a dream to work with.

(Isn't her tote adorable? Last week's sewing lesson. And I just noticed upon uploading the photo how perfectly her project coordinates with her tote. Strange.)

Upon writing that last sentence, I promptly left my keyboard to inspect my eldest daughter's tote. And yes, it too matches her project.

Oh my!

Eleanor is knitting Hannah Fettig's Contended Cardi in Blue Sky Alpaca Worsted Hand Dyes. She asked for the yarn for her 17th birthday. That cardigan calls for about a hundred thousand yards of alpaca. I told her that her father and I could A) send her to college or B) buy her that yarn. 

She chose the yarn, smart girl.

Of course, I'm only joking. We'll still send her to college. She just better wear that sweater every single day of it!

Enough about yarn, let's talk reading. My matchy-matchy girls and I are devouring the Bronte sisters and have been thoroughly entertained...in a dark, depressive sort of way. Today we're listening to the last 30 minutes of Wuthering Heights on Audible. Of course, we could just read aloud together, as we have done for years, but we've recently transitioned to audiobooks and called it a daily knit-a-long.

Knitting and British ghost stories. It doesn't get much better than that, now does it?

One evening after our listening, we put the littles to bed and watched the movie version, the newer production with Ralph Feinnes as Heathcliff. (Go ahead, watch the trailer.)

Mr. Feinnes is wonderful, as usual, but oddly cast, I must say. Ralph Fiennes as a strapping, dark-toned gypsy? He's too refined, too slight of build, the girls and I said. However, we were pleasantly surprised to find the part of Nelly Dean played by Janet McTeer, the talented woman who read the parts narrated by Nelly on the audio version we've been enjoying. She's absolutely wonderful. 

Really, you should download the story and listen. I promise, it'll go great with your knitting. 

Knit on with confidence and hope, through all crises.

-Elizabeth Zimmerman

Join Ginny for more knitting and reading. 

 

The Undivided Heart (Take Two)

Last week, I read Chapter 3 of The Mission of Motherhood. I read it and prayed about it and read it again and prayed some more. Then, I carefully constructed a blog post. Most of the time, when I write, my fingers fly and it all gets onto the screen quickly. I labored over that post. Then, I decided to give Typepad's new picture editor feature a whirl. I made a careless mistake and <poof!> there went the post.

Patrick and Mary Beth tried to help me to try to recover it. It was long gone. Over the next couple of days, I had heart-to-heart talks with three dear friends. What I learned is that some things are better pondered in one's own heart, whispered to a trusted friend, and not broadcast on the internet. In the end, I'm glad for the process of writing that post. I'm glad I could recount it in detail for my friends. I'm glad they lingered long to listen and to offer wise counsel. And, ultimately, I'm glad the post disappeared. 

My first friend pointed out that it might not be such a good idea to make longterm decisions in the midst of an intrusive remodeling project, several kid emergencies, an extended Daddy trip to Florida, and some health issues of my own. She reminded me that my introverted soul was starved. No kidding! I had had no time without strangers in my house and several children in my bed for weeks. I was desperate for silence. Also, my rhythm was rocked and the time I'd carefully carved to write without taking anything from my family had dissipated when Stephen hurt himself and I no longer had to sit for two hours three times a week while he practiced. Perhaps because fatigue was having its way with me; all I could hear were the voices saying this wasn't a real mission anyway. These weren't anything more than first world frivolties. My friend, who knows and understands the mission I want to embrace--both in my home and in the blogging world--helped me to see my blog through a new lens, both figuratively and literally. She had some tangible solutions to things I saw as insurmountable obstacles. She's promised to nudge me along the learning curve. I look forward to putting those ideas in motion.

The second friend listened long. I took the phone with me and talked and talked as I walked downtown McLean on a sunny late afternoon. Nick kicked the soccer ball around and my friend Edith and I kicked around some ideas. She helped my to see how to guard my heart, to ensure that it was undivided, even as I sought to have meaningful, God-honoring relationships both in my home and beyond my own four walls. She pointed out that long ago God had planted a seed in my marriage--one that we were certain was a call to a big family and home education.  At the time, that seemed like a big, bold mission. It still is a big, bold mission.

Then, Edith had another idea that gave me new energy and enthusiasm. She said she really enjoyed visiting with you all last week during needle & thREAD and she'd like to come back and share more sewing and some of her knitting, too. I'm so, so happy to welcome her here. I think that as I labor in my home, at my learning table, and in this virtual living room, it is good to have co-laborers who are similarly called, people who can remind me that God wants me here and challenge me to do His will wholeheartedly. 

Then, I talked to Megan. Megan has been entrusted with my heart during times in my life when it has been at its most vulnerable. And she has entrusted me with hers. On Karoline's birthday, Megan treated us to tea. I literally had not slept in over 48 hours. Life had been a blur of Spanish-speaking contractors, college applications, angry teenagers, damaged kitchen walls, crooked countertops, and hour and hours of college math. I was totally exhausted, yet the voice in my head kept saying, "You aren't doing enough. You just stay here trying to bless the abundantly blessed and still you falter all the time."

Megan whisked us into a teatime fairy tale and made the birthday so very memorable. Once, nine years ago, while looking adoringly at his wife, Megan's husband Scott said, "She has a way of making everything more beautiful, doesn't she?" She does. And I count Megan among my dearest blessings. Megan and I have been walking the Alphabet Path with our girls this year. She's all in for sharing pictures and recipes for every letter of the alphabet with you. I know Megan; beauty will follow. And there is value in beauty.

Finally, after hearing me count my failures aloud one time too many, my husband put me in the car on Saturday and drove west into my beloved Blue Ridge mountains. The kids and I introduced him to Rappahanock Cellars and he and I had big, big talk. I was reminded that ever since I was a little girl, God has called me to wholehearted motherhood and to homemaking. And ever since I was a little girl, I have wanted to write. Mike seemed at once surprised and dismayed to learn how close I'd come to ceasing to write (here and elsewhere) without really talking it through with him. All executive management, he jumped in with some ideas for how to make it work better, without taking anything from our home. He also pointed out that mission looks different in the first world. In some ways, it needs to be quiet; it must be almost secret.  It's the quiet work of mercy towards our neighbors. It is still God's work. And it still has value.

All in all, I begin this week more peaceful than I've been in quite sometime. There are some changes planned and they are all good. I'm only through Chapter 3 of the book and I feel like the fruits are abundant! Mostly, I've learned well that one way a woman lives with an undivided heart for her family is to entrust that heart to friends who know and understand how dear the mission is to her. We need good friends. Other women can affirm for us that the mostly hidden work in our homes is valuable, necessary, and lifegiving. They can challenge us to live authentic lives as wives and mothers first. They can lift us when we stumble and they can celebrate the every day. This life--large families, home education, wholehearted homemaking--it's a life apart, even when it's in the midst of ordinary suburbia. We are a missionary order of the suburban kind; aprons are our habits.

Are you thinking about the mission of motherhood, too? I'm going to join The Nester for 31 Days. I'm going to host a 31 day "retreat"here  to remind myself (and anyone who wants to come along) of the mission of motherhood and matrimony. If you want to do your own 31 Days on anything you choose, head here and join! If you want to retreat from the noise of the 'net for a month and focus your own sweet home and family, grab a “Remind Myself of the Mission” button and curl up with a candle, your Bible, and this good book! Let me know your thoughts below. We can help each other hear His mission. You can add a Remind Myself button by cutting and pasting the code below.

 

<a href="http://www.elizabethfoss.com/reallearning/2012/09/31-days-to-remind-myself-of-the-mission.html" _mce_href="http://www.elizabethfoss.com/reallearning/2012/09/31-days-to-remind-myself-of-the-mission.html"><img src="http://www.elizabethfoss.com/.a/6a00d8341c543553ef017c323f2b90970b-pi" _mce_src="http://www.elizabethfoss.com/.a/6a00d8341c543553ef017c323f2b90970b-pi"width="125"height="125"border="0" alt="31 days Misson"/></a>

Click here for the whole series.

Happy Birthday to my Best Friend

~guest post by Patrick

In my life, I have had, and lost, many friends. Friends come and go and that's just life. What does not come and go is family. For better or for worse, you are stuck with your family. I am a firm believer that the people with whom you surround yourself ultimately will shape you as a person. I am certain that in my life my family has shaped me as a person and inside my family no person has been closer to me than my oldest sister, Mary Beth.

{Mom note: Patrick's arm is wrapped in a huge cast. He had surgery two days before. Apparently, this injury-for-birthdays tradition dates way back.}

Now make no mistake, my oldest sister is still my younger sister and no matter how old and mature she gets, she will always be little to me. There is a sort of iconic photo in our house that shows me with Bee and Mom, just hanging out on a hospital bed the day she was born. Now I don't remember that day, but from the look on my face, I don't think I was too fond of the idea of losing the title of "family baby." And while I may not remember that moment, I do remember my relationship with Bee from a very young age pretty vividly.

    I can remember playing with her and I can remember when "playing" turned to "hanging out" that turned to "chillin'.." In the "playing" days, I thought I could turn Bee into a world class soccer player. That was dream was thwarted pretty quickly when she broke a bone at age 5 and decided she would never play a contact sport again. From the "hanging out" days, I can remember sitting on Bee's bed, talking about anything and everything that came to mind-- she is a great listener and I think anyone who knows me knows that I have opinions to be heard. As for the 'chillin' days, well, they've had their ups and downs. Life has happened as we have grown up; there have been challenges that didn't exist as little kids. But even through the ups and downs, Bee is still there, my right-hand-chic and I am positive that the love and friendship is as strong as ever. 

Bee is turning 16 today. Whoa. One thing I know about 16-year-old girls is that boys are attracted to them. Through my own ignorance I guess I overlooked this little fact? Needless to say, when the thought of Bee and boys comes to mind, uh, it kind of freaks me out... Everyone knows that dads and brothers are protective of their ladies-- poor Bee, she is going to have more protection than the pope. We always joke that Bee can't start dating until she is 40. This is clearly just silliness, Bee, if you're reading this, I say you can start at 35.

All jokes aside, I am proud to call Bee my best friend and my sister. I am sure that as we grow, neither of these titles will change. Bee is as loyal as they come. I honestly don't know where I would be without her constant love and support and I am lucky and blessed to have a person as amazing as Bee in my life.

Happy Birthday, Bee!

{We struggled with pictures here. Now the secret is out: Mary Beth is the resident photographer and we can barely blog without her help.}

Cutest Birthday Card Ever

*Love you, Bee. You've turned me into a great speller and you've teached me lots of things. Love, Kari

Monday Morning Almanac

I find myself:

::noticing God's glory

We took a drive to Front Royal on Saturday. As always, the lovely Blue Ridge delivered a glorious autumn show. Have I ever mentioned how much I love living in Virginia? Oh, well, maybe a few times;-).

::listening to 

Amy Grant. We've grown up together. 

{Nicky's prized possession, relocated to a new room.}

::clothing myself in 

Khaki pants, a long-sleeved t-shirt, a blue denim jacket rolled at the cuffs, and a handmade Anna Maria Horner voile scarf.

 

::talking with my children about these books

Pinkalicious. The littlest in this house pulls rank now and then (she outranks us all) and everyone does what she says. Her room is now cotton-candy pink, with one purple wall to appease Karoline. 

 

::thinking and thinking

About my mission. I clearly have not posted 31 days in a row, but I am reaping in a big way from this study. I'll update you later today. I'm amazed and grateful for the wild ride God has taken along with me as I look anew at vocation. While I'm 22 days into the prayer and meditation, I've only completed 10 posts. I promise I'll finish the whole 31 posts.  In time. Thanks for your patience.

{my view when I open my eyes in the morning}

::pondering prayerfully

“My present trial seems to me a somewhat painful one, and I have the humiliation of knowing how badly I bore it at first. I now want to accept and to carry this little cross joyfully, to carry it silently, with a smile in my heart and on my lips, in union with the Cross of Christ. My God, blessed be Thou; accept from me each day the embarrassment, inconvenience, and pain this misery causes me. May it become a prayer and an act of reparation." ~Elisabeth Leseur

::carefully cultivating rhythm

The last few weeks, rhythm was squashed into oblivion. We had birthday week, two orthopedic emergencies, a totalled car (unrelated to either orthopedic issue), Mike traveling, and a house full of contractors all day, every day, for two weeks. I was rocked to my introverted core. This morning, everyone is walking without a limp, my house is squeaky clean, I have dinner planned, and we will have a peaceful, planned day. God willing. Please, God, be willing!

::creating by hand

Drapery fabric is on the way! We're going to begin as soon as it gets here. In the meantime, I'm knitting away (very slowly) on my California shawl, helping Katie sew a blouse, and committing to getting those blocks finished for the anniversary quilt. Happy, happy, happy to knit and sew! I recognize how important these handworks are to me and how necessary it is that I plan time for them. 

{old curtains, new spot for them}

::learning lessons in

Oh, those Mama lessons! What a school for souls this vocation is! I'm learning that I still have much to learn. I messed up bigtime during birthday week and completely missed communicating in the love language of one of my children. I'm not sure either of us will ever fully recover. I'm still gulping the lump in my throat

 

::encouraging learning 

It's long been known to me that children learn at their own pace. That's one of the reasons we chose to homeschool. Friends, at long last, my most challenging student of all is cranking along and "getting" math. This means I am unexpectedly spending hours a day sitting next to him, working through college math, but I'll take it!

And I think that purgatory might be a place where one fills in all the teacher/school/counselor/parent forms on the Common App and repeatedly gets the error message every single time she saves. 

::begging prayers

for my peace of heart and others' gentle forgiveness as I try to catch up on things let go during the firestorm of the last couple weeks. I let more than a couple people down and I'm going to need a huge infusion of grace to regain equilibrium.

{the wall still awaits the icons, but we have a little pocket of peace here}

::keeping house

The middle and top floor of my house are perfectly clean. Every nook and cranny, wall and window, drawer and closet. Every flat surface above the floor has a new coat of paint and I so love the colors that surround me. Now, it's time to implement a new chore system, taking into account that in the next few weeks, two of the three big boys will leave our home. Nick and Stephen will go from sharing a room all their lives to each having their own rooms. We did a little switch preemptively. Nicky shares a room with Stephen, but he has always wanted to share a room with Paddy. When we learned he was leaving early for UVa, we moved Nick in with him and Michael in with Stephen. Michael is moving out in early December. This way, Nicky gets his much-adored roommate from now until he goes in January and then every time he comes home from college. It's just weird to think how huge this house is going to seem without them...

I've tried to capture a few images of the new colors, but I haven't gotten the hues true at all. Maybe next time.

 

{so good to have a functioning kitchen again, first thing in the morning}

::crafting in the kitchen 

I'm going back to a solid three week paleo meal plan. I'm really, really happy about this. I see its benefits and I'm committed to making it a habit for the long haul. My kids seem fairly happy with it, too. I think some nearly-paleo chocolate chip cookies helped. Recipes forthcoming. I've been Instagramming pictures of things we all are happy to eat. Follow me there, if you like. I'm heartofmyhome. You can also click on the little button at the top of the righthand column with the camera. This works even if you don't have an Instagram account.

 I registered to begin the Whole30 again. From the beginning of Lent until mid-June, I was following this diet for hypothyroidism, more or less. Then Kristen Kill mentioned to me she was doing Whole 30. They sounded essentially the same and I found a lot of support for the hypothryoid diet on the Whole30 pages, so I did Whole30 in July. I made it to Day 26 and then caved for a grain-free, dairy-free and utterly fabulous cookie. I went Whole 30+ from August 1 until our California trip and then I added wine and a little sushi rice. But I was really vigilant about all else while in California. And I was feeling well and very much seeing a difference.

When I returned home, I messed up bigtime. Birthday week and two weeks of non-functioning kitchen, and I  just didn't have the discipline to withstand either the unpredictable messes and crises or the abundant sugar at hand. I have paid dearly. On a couple days, my joints have hurt so badly, I've struggled to do the simplest things to move about the day. And there have been days my hands were so stiff that the thought of keyboarding anything has brought me to tears. I'm convinced that this way of eating is non-negotiable for me. I started Whole30 all over again. It took a few days to even get to functional again, but the past couple of days have been much better. I'm in for life. I have to be.

::loving the moments

when I have time to talk with my husband.

::giving thanks 

for the good men who have shared my home these last few weeks. They've worked so hard and cared so much about doing an excellent job. Their handiwork blesses us abundantly and we're so grateful to have gotten to know them. 

living the liturgy

Have you heard about the Advent Workshop? Do come hang out with us! Even if you're not local, click over and let me know your favorite Advent resources. I really need your help, y'all.

And...I'm doing a happy dance. Our mission has relocated daily Mass (again, I know). This time, it's five minutes away with no chance of traffic. Happy, happy, happy! This my friends, is truly living liturgy!

 

::planning for the week ahead

Mary Beth will be Sweet Sixteen on Tuesday. While I have a few thoughts in mind for this day, I'm interested to know how you celebrated your sixteenth birthday. Does your family have any traditions for your daughters? Ideas? 

{Mike completely renovated the foyer bathroom. Sarah helped him.}

{my new favorite place to sit}

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.}

Gospel

 Mark 10:35-45

James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to Jesus and said to him,
"Teacher, we want you to do for us whatever we ask of you."
He replied, "What do you wish me to do for you?"
They answered him, "Grant that in your glory
we may sit one at your right and the other at your left."
Jesus said to them, "You do not know what you are asking.
Can you drink the cup that I drink
or be baptized with the baptism with which I am baptized?"
They said to him, "We can."
Jesus said to them, "The cup that I drink, you will drink,
and with the baptism with which I am baptized, you will be baptized;
but to sit at my right or at my left is not mine to give
but is for those for whom it has been prepared."
When the ten heard this, they became indignant at James and John.
Jesus summoned them and said to them,
"You know that those who are recognized as rulers over the Gentiles
lord it over them,
and their great ones make their authority over them felt.
But it shall not be so among you.
Rather, whoever wishes to be great among you will be your servant;
whoever wishes to be first among you will be the slave of all.
For the Son of Man did not come to be served
but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many."

Think

“When we had our children, our ideas changed somewhat. From then on we lived only for them. They made all our happiness, and we would not have found it except in them. Nothing any longer cost us anything; the world was no longer a burden to us. As for me, my children were my great compensation, so that I wished to have many in order to bring them up for Heaven.…” ~Blessed Zelie Martin

Pray

Sweet Jesus, help me to remember that the things of this life are fleeting. Jockeying for position, trying to be first, worrying about status and stature here is truly a waste of precious time. Give me the wisdom and the grace to look for opportunities to serve instead.

Act

Plan a few hours some time this week to simply enjoy the company of your children. No burdens. No grand expectations. Just a simple setting for soaking in the good--the great compensation-- that they are. Jot a note or two to ponder later. How best to serve the least of these? What love language do they speak? 

And I beg your grace as I squeak my own prayer request in this morning. I have a dear local friend who will deliver her ninth baby today. It could get a little tricky. Please, please keep her in your prayers!

Needle & thREAD

 

Today I'm posting needle & thREAD because, remarkably enough this week, I've actually sewn a little. Sewing tends to frustrate me and it takes too much patience for me to stick with it. But, my mom wants me to make this tiered skirt and I'm pretty sure she is intent on me finishing it. Hopefully, tomorrow I'll get a chunk of time and finish it. As of now though, I leave you with a picture of a work in progress.

 

Now for the reading part. Recently, I read Joy in the Ordinary. I'm going to admit I was skeptical. It was about a girl who wanted to become a nun, really? I didn't want to read about some girl that wanted to become a nun. I will say though, this book is well worth anyone's time. Joyce wants to become a nun, badly--almost to the point where she's forcing herself. When she comes to the realization that she won't be able to stay at the convent because it's truly not her vocation, her life gets turned around in remarkable ways and she finds out who she's really meant to be. This book left me very happy,but also a little bit sad that we can't all find our own Dominics. I'm pretty sure they don't exist. That issue aside though, I can't wait for a sequel to this book.

While I was sewing a tiered skirt and reading Joy in the Ordinary, Katie and Mom were busy making a picnic blouse and reading Caddie Woodlawn. 

 

~~~~

Does autumn call you into your sewing space? Are you thinking flannel pjs or cozy quilts? Or are you embroidering? Pulling a needle with thread through lovely fabric to make life more beautiful somehow? Would you share with us just a single photo (or more) and a brief description of what you're up to? Will you tell us about what you're reading, also? Would you talk sewing and books with us? I'd love that so much.

Make sure the link you submit is to the URL of your blog post or your specific Flickr photo and not your main blog URL or Flickr Photostream. Please be sure and link to your current needle and thREAD post below in the comments, and not a needle and thREAD post from a previous week. If you don't have a blog, please post a photo to the needle & thREAD group at Flickr. 

       Include a link back to this post in your blog post or on your flickr photo page so that others who may want to join the needle and thREAD fun can find us! Feel free to grab a button here (in one of several colors) so that you can use the button to link:-)

 

The Undivided Heart

So, I wrote 1300 words on this topic and this chapter. I poured out my guts. I bared my soul. I really laid it all out there. And when I uploaded the picture, just before hitting "post," I deleted the whole thing. All of it. All the links. All the well-organized thoughts. I just wrote 1300 words on why I need to step away from blogging and it disappeared into cyberspace. Gotta wonder if there's some sort of meaning in all of that.

Anyway, my neck hurts and my hands hurt and I'm tired. There's no chance I'm reconstructing that post any time soon. Good night:-). 

I will mention that I linked to Kate's thoughts extensively. Those links are worth taking a few moments to re-create. 

And here's the picture. Makes more sense with the post. The totally-deleted-cannot-be-retrieved post.

{Oh, and needle & thREADers, Mary Beth will be here in the morning with a post for you.}

~ ~ ~

Are you thinking about the mission of motherhood, too? I'm going to join The Nester for 31 Days. I'm going to host a 31 day "retreat"here  to remind myself (and anyone who wants to come along) of the mission of motherhood and matrimony. If you want to do your own 31 Days on anything you choose, head here and join! If you want to retreat from the noise of the 'net for a month and focus your own sweet home and family, grab a “Remind Myself of the Mission” button and curl up with a candle, your Bible, and this good book! Let me know your thoughts below. We can help each other hear His mission. 

 

Click here for the whole series.

 

"B" is for Baking Blackberry-Blueberry Butterfly Pie with Our Besties

8 cups of berries 
1/2 to 1 cup sugar
3 tbl corn starch 
Pinch of salt
1/4 teaspoon cinnamon
Pinch of nutmeg
1 tbl lemon juice
Zest from 1 lemon -- optional, but makes it so good!
2 tbl unsalted butter cut in bits
Milk as needed

2 refrigerated prepared pie crusts

Instructions:

1/ Heat oven to 450
2/ Gently toss berries with sugar, cornstarch, salt, spices, lemon juice, and zest.
3/ Pile into rolled out dough -- making the pile a little higher in the center.
4/ Dot with the butter
5/ Cover with the top crust
6/ Seal edges with fork or fingers
7/ Place pie on baking sheet -- to catch drips
8/ Brush top of pie with milk and sprinkle with sugar
9/ Cut 3-4 slits in top of crust -- to allow steam to escape
10/ Bake for 10 minutes at 450
11/ Reduce heat to 350 and bake for another 40-50 minutes or until golden brown
12/ Cool on rack before serving warm or at room temperature

All pictures, the recipe, and the warm afternoon of baking generously and graciously providing by my friend Megan and her daughter Katie. Note, Sarah had three outfit changes during the course of baking pie. Megan is all patience with a girl's need for the perfect dress. In the end, she provided a dress with butterflies!

God willing, I'll be back later with an update to the plans for C week and perhaps a bit more on those 31 Days to Remind Myself of the Mission.

Lord, Hear Our Prayer

The internet is a formidable force for bringing the comfort and consolation and hope of the Lord to all of us. It can be an incredibily powerful medium for community. There is an unfathomable resource for prayer here. We have on the 'net the privilege of praying for people and of being witness to the miracles brought forth when fervent, faith-filled people pray for one another.

Let's be that community of hope and faith for one another.

How about this idea? What if I pop in here every weekend, share Sunday's gospel and talk a wee bit about how we can live it and pray it in our homes? And then you tell me how we can pray for you that week? Deal?

{And please, do return and let us know how prayer is bearing fruit.}

 

Gospel 

Mark 10:17-30

As Jesus was setting out on a journey, a man ran up,
knelt down before him, and asked him,
"Good teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?"
Jesus answered him, "Why do you call me good?
No one is good but God alone.
You know the commandments: You shall not kill;
you shall not commit adultery;
you shall not steal;
you shall not bear false witness;
you shall not defraud;
honor your father and your mother."
He replied and said to him,
"Teacher, all of these I have observed from my youth."
Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him,
"You are lacking in one thing.
Go, sell what you have, and give to the poor
and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me."
At that statement his face fell,
and he went away sad, for he had many possessions.

Jesus looked around and said to his disciples,
"How hard it is for those who have wealth
to enter the kingdom of God!"
The disciples were amazed at his words.
So Jesus again said to them in reply,
"Children, how hard it is to enter the kingdom of God!
It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle
than for one who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."
They were exceedingly astonished and said among themselves,
"Then who can be saved?"
Jesus looked at them and said,
"For human beings it is impossible, but not for God.
All things are possible for God."
Peter began to say to him,
"We have given up everything and followed you."
Jesus said, "Amen, I say to you,
there is no one who has given up house or brothers or sisters
or mother or father or children or lands
for my sake and for the sake of the gospel
who will not receive a hundred times more now in this present age:
houses and brothers and sisters
and mothers and children and lands,
with persecutions, and eternal life in the age to come."

Think

"Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody, I think that is a much greater hunger, a much greater poverty, than the person who has nothing to eat." Blessed Teresa of Calcutta

Pray

May your grace, O Lord, we pray, at all times go before us and follow after and make us always determined to carry out good work. Through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reign with you in the unity of the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. 

~Collect from today's Mass.

Act

"During this Year of Faith may we, like the man in today's Gospel, have the courage to ask the Lord what more can we do, especially for the poor, the lonely, the sick and the suffering, so as to be witnesses and heirs to the eternal life God promises." ~Benedict XVI