Keep your eyes on your own work!

There is so much curriculum conversation going on at the 4real message boards, at The Lilting House, at Karen Edmisten's blog spot, on Theresa's farm...It's happening every waking hour!

And it's great to share ideas.  But it's also a slippery slope.  We can peer into each other's homes, see all the good things happening there and start to feel very insecure--and covetous.  The truth is, we all have different gifts and abilities.  We all have different shortcomings.  We all have different temperamental nuances. We have different budgets.  And, most importantly, we all have different husbands and children.  The beauty of home education is that it's not one-size-fits-all.

What works in Leonie's home of seven boys (where some are grown and gone) might look silly in Alice's cottage of six girls and one boy, where the oldest is twelve and the youngest was born just a couple of weeks ago. In either home, if they tried to duplicate the other, a golden opportunity for a unique and beautiful education would be lost.  I can't imagine Leonie without her down-to-earth unschooling approach which is tailored so well to each and every boy, where she spends so much time talking with them and planning with them.  And I can't imagine Alice without the faith and grace and beauty and excellence that is the life and breath of the cottage and everyone in it. And I sheepishly admit to wanting to have been one or the other of them at various times over the last seven or so years.

And really, neither approach--taken in its entirety--would work very well here.  We all have the same number of children, but we are not all the same.

This is the crux of the whole thing.  Our selves and our families are God's design.  It's one of the few things we can know for certain. God made us and He knows intimately the way we are.  Furthermore, knowing the way we are, He has put people in our lives (primarily our husbands and children) to help us get to be the way He wants us to be. He gave us these children (whether by birth or adoption).  It's His plan that we educate them. And so, we can only be doing His will if we work with that whole complex of self and family together. We can glean ideas, but we can't outright copy the work of our friends. This is our own personal journey to sanctity.

That's why this time of year is so tricky:  even the veterans start comparing and looking at each other's work and they can be sorely tempted by the devil.  We have to sift all the good advice and information in light of our own family circumstances, our own kids.  If we don't discern prayerfully, the tricky Evil One quickly has a foothold on leading us astray. He will take something good, like the fine examples of our friends' home "schools," and twist it in our brains late at night and make us forget that we are not created in the image of those good ladies.  We are uniquely created in the image of God.  And so are our children. Together, we journey to heaven, choosing the tools for shaping minds and souls very carefully, because the mission is to answer God's unique call for us, and us alone.

Comments

[Molly]

Thank you for this, Elizabeth. The choices alone are overwhelming enough, and add to that the glowing recommendations of a zillion different things and I start to have doubts, insecurities, jealousy, among others. I've been mulling over my list for a while now, and have committed us to my plan. You're right--every family is different. I will have a 5th grader, 3rd, 1st, two littles and a newborn when the new school year starts and my plan will work for us.

Anyway, thanks for the little nudge to follow my gut.

Blessings,
Molly

[stef]

thanks for this, elizabeth. i need this reminder year-round, not just around this time, because we school year-round and i'm forever tweaking and perfecting, etc., etc. although you know what, one of the few things i cling to when i get lost and overwhelmed with all the choices? is your book Real Learning. i skim parts of it when i realize i'm complicating things again and it always reminds me to remain true to our spiritual goals, and to our family's unique set of challenges and strengths.

[Theresa]

Bravo! It is so easy to get caught up in wanting what others have that we can often overlook the wonderful things going on in our own homes!God truly has created us all with very unique combinations of children, husbands, talents and challenges. To think that they are all the same would be putting limits on His creative powers! I say "viva la difference!"

[Stephanie]

Elizabeth,
So true! Thanks! Sometimes it is difficult to give up what seems to you a great subject to study or a certain curriculum path to follow for your family.
However, God may simply not be calling you to do this. He will give us the means to accomplish what He wishes for us to do....not necessarily what we want to do. Then it does become our will against His.
Thanks for the reminder!

Blessings,
Stephanie

[Nancy Williams]

Since the beginning of your blog,I have gained a real understanding of home education. I admire you and all those that take this approach to education.It is a very wonderful vocation,and very generous of you.Your family is blessed to have this experience.Thank you for sharing your experiences,strength,and hope.

[Kristie]

Thank you Elizabeth. You hit the nail on the head. This has been a blessing to me, and a hope. We are not carbon copies of other homeschool moms, and are children definitely aren't either. We can let so many of the blessings and giftings from God go unnoticed, and even harder, unaccepted while we strive to follow someone else's lead. Rather, I should say this for myself. It has been quite the realisation lately.....
This has gotten long,
Thank you,
Kristie

[Kim]

Amen! It can look different - it SHOULD look different. I hope people take it to heart!

[Meredith]

Beautifully written, as ususal you hit the nail right on the head, Bravo!!

[Jenn Miller]

Just wonderful advice! Thank you, Elizabeth.

[Agnes]

This is so completely true, Elizabeth.

Thanks for honoring us with such a kind mention, by the way!

[Alice]

Sorry, that last comment should have said "Alice."

[Leonie]

You described the beauty of homeschooling - of adpating for each family.Thank you - I needed this as I went through a tired down stage yesterday...

[willa]

I just came back to reread this, Elizabeth. I need to remind myself again and again. It is all so true.

[julia s.]

I came across this piece as I was tearing myself up inside before I start Kindergarden with my one child tomorrow. I was thinking if I were only Dawn or Theresa or you that I'd be more prepared and have this oh so exciting week planned with beautiful notebook pages by the end of the week -- instead of me who is perpetually pulling the rabbit out of the hat, and I wondered why did God give me my wonderful children to screw up? But this is how our family works and my son doesn't expect all that other stuff anyway -- actually he just wants to have cake at the end of the day -- I think I can handle that.

Thanks again.