In the Heart of my Home

What Will You Give God?

This is so worth watching. It's only 4 minutes.

Every day.

Until it really sinks in and animates our every moment.

Tip of the bonnet to Danielle Bean.

Weekend Clicking

I've got the pink box working on the sidebar--sort of. I can share posts from my blog reader there. There are some good things loaded up there now:-). I still haven't been able to make the bookmarklet work so that I can share from other places on the web. Here are few places that you might like to click over and visit this weekend.

10 Ways to Get the Right Guy to Like You. This is a cute video done by a teenaged (early 20?) boy for girls. I smiled all the way through when Mary Beth shared it with me.  Wise boy.

Lisa Hendey is traveling to Israel. And she's carrying a heavy prayer load.

I'm  a huge fan of Msgr. Pope. Here is the homily from the Teen Mass before the March for Life. Not to be missed.

The "I Hate Religion" guy? Jimmy Akin has a word or two for him here.

I cried through this one. What a Parent Wants to Say Before a Child Leaves.

And this. The Father carries us across the finish line. It's hard not to be discouraged as we run this race. Life is most definitely a marathon. This image is such a powerful one.

How to keep your house clean doing one big chore a day. Sigh. I so can't do laundry only once a week;-)

Even as I appreciate her honesty and empathize just a beginning bit with the pain she must feel as he father's mind slips away, I wish I could share with her that there is value in suffering and grace in the pain. 

And finally, as bright sun shines in late January and the weather is positively balmy, Ten Ways to Make a Walk more Fun. Time to get outside with the kiddos!

Moments Like These

On Thursday Night

Dear Karoline,

I sat in my studio this afternoon, catching up on paperwork and gridding a busy weekend into my planner. I could feel my shoulders rising to nearly touch my ears. I know my forehead creased with concern. Heavy thoughts. Creeping cold.

I heard the gathering storm downstairs. You, with all your creative ideas and grand plans for elaborate play. Your sister, with her own agenda. You kind of fell apart. You burst through my doors, earnest tears streaming down your face and big sobs sucking air from your lungs. Why did they not understand, you demanded. Why didn't they know that you saw this whole play scheme so clearly in your head? Whatever the reason, they didn't. 

I glanced at the flannel stacked neatly on the shelf and remembered that I'd promised to sew with you today. 

"Let's make something."

The clouds parted and your smile shone sunshine all over that room. You pinned intently. You sewed on the machine with utter glee. For the first time ever, you pressed the pedal all by yourself the whole time. And you filled your cozy with corn. 

Tonight, you are tucked up in my bed with the work of your hands, claiming that you want to share its warmth with me. 

We are both warmed.

Sweet dreams, sweet girl.

xo

mama

 

 

The Winter from the Top of a Swing

I'm kind of tired of writing about Disney details for this week. I still have three more posts queued up and waiting for pictures and edits, but I think they can wait until next week.  Yesterday afternoon yielded an impromptu visit to the park and Mary Beth took some fun pictures with her iPod and I thought I'd just hang out here with you for awhile and think aloud about my friend Susan's last ever post and about all the wisdom there and about living a slow life. 

I've been praying hard lately about slow. Quiet. Whisper. I've been praying about creativity and asking God what He would have me do. And I don't have a crystal clear answer. Colleen called this afternoon to tell me all about how she walks at least three miles a day just to get anywhere. She told me about her kitchen with the lattice walls and the simplicity of it all. She was asking me to think for myself about how to bring mindfulness, slowness, simplicity to life in the suburbs of the the most powerful city on earth. Seems daunting. But then again, swimming against the tide is always slow isn't it? There's nothing slow about this place; I'd be swimming against the tide if I were even trying to move slowly.

The internet is fast. I feel my pulse quicken when I open the laptop. Text messaging and cell phones are fast. I watched a dear girl's furrowed brow grow smoothe when she let her battery die and took days to get around to recharging it. It is clear to me that we must be ever-vigilant lest we let technology fast forward our lives and infringe on the margins of clear, quiet space where we can just be still and know God.

Susan writes, "We live in a time when slowing down does not simply mean that we casually choose not to get caught in the speedy flow of our culture, but, increasingly, we must absolutely do battle against speed in order not to get caught up in the flow. And nowadays we have the added pressure placed on us by modern technology to be ever-available and always-distracted. But battling against this is very much worth the fight, in my opinion."

It's not just technology though. Interactions with our fully present community seem to demand expediency and efficiency. To be intentionally slow and soft requires a decided change in thought process. I find myself countering the activity of real life. This quiet is encapsulated in all the intentional choices to just be when the world asks us to hurry towards productivity. It's the wide open spaces in a day that allow us to look at the gift of a warm winter afternoon from the top of a swing.

Why create margins? Why slow down? What if we miss an opportunity? What if we don't network hard enough or fast enough or often enough? To that, I have to wonder, what if we're really missing a network that is much, much more important? Much, much more rewarding?

Susan goes on to remind us of some very poignant quotes: 

" 'All in order, sweet and lovely.'(Blake)  And I’ll quote the Bible, too: 'For God is not a God of disorder but of peace.' And why not thrown in Anne Morrow Lindbergh who said that it is only framed in space that beauty blooms? And all of this goes for our whole life; order is not just about the arrangement of our stuff! A beautiful life of margin saves space—uncluttered and unhurried—for the unexpected, for surprise, for serendipity, for spontaneity, for compassion, for instant hospitality, for relationships, and for lots of good things to happen."

The internet has blessed me in so many ways. Daily, my life is touched for the better by the people I have met online.  I am grateful forever for blogging--the medium suits me well. But I think I am a slow blogger. I cannot--will not, perhaps--keep up with the frantic pace of being everywhere online. Networking zaps me. The internet allows us to be pulled into the extroverted world without every leaving home or saying a word. I think it could be an unnatural exposure for an invtrovert.

Sometimes I am sure I would love a house like this, not to live in, just to retreat to when the noise and activity become too much. My children remind me that we have a playhouse at the edge of the backyard. And almost automatically, I think, "Hmm, I could probalby still get wi-fi there." I am a paradox.

But frantic pace and constant availability zaps me even more in real life. I asked a friend yesterday for the phone number of a mutual friend. She sent it and asked if I'd ever heard their musical answering machine message. I replied that I'd never called her. She's a very close friend. We correspond nearly daily. I love the sound of her voice and could sit for hours in real life and just listen to her talk. I love when she has time to share a converation with me. She's called me a couple times. But I've never called. Still haven't. Because in real life, it takes a huge effort for me to dial the phone. The older I get, the less I like to shatter silence with my own voice, the less I want to intrude on someone else's silence.

When I was little, people thought I was pouting or moody. I will never forget the day--I must have been around nine--when someone asked why I was so grumpy within earshot of my grandfather. He took one look at me and said, "She's not grumpy; she's pensive." It is forever inked in my memory. Understanding. He understood that I was not moody or aloof or even shy. I was just thinking. I need quiet. I need deep, face-to-face connections.If I have a conversation, I'd prefer for it to be a slow, thoughtful one. I need fresh air and sunshine. I need space to think. I don't think quickly.

And then, I also need space to do. To work with my hands. To ink out a thought. to capture an image. Wide open space to make connections to my Creator within my own soul and spirit with before I can make sense of anything else.

I put up two prayer requests this week for boys not unlike my own. Indeed, one of them played soccer with my eldest. I can't pray for them and for their families without feeling an overwhelming tug of empathy. And an overwhelming urge to hold my children. (At the same time, though, I'm compelled to bring their intentions to as many people as possible and I'm grateful this medium allows me to do that.) Life is full and rich and joyous and sad. And we need margins to make sense of it all, don't we? And life is short. I'd prefer not to waste a single moment of it.

When I was on vacation (ah, see? there's Disney again), my time online was naturally limited. I spent a few minutes a day (fewer than fifteen) uploading pictures so that our families could follow our fun on Facebook. It was just the right amount of time for that kind of connecting. And then, I spent hours and hours out of doors, holding my little one, listening carefully to the others, giving full time and undivided attention to the here and now. Despite the noise and color and crowds of where I was, it was a peaceful way to live. Certainly all of life isn't a vacation and I can't expect to come home and act as if I'm living in a resort villa, but I think I can impose upon myself some of the same expectations for limits here and wide open spaces there.

God is in the margins. 

I'm not logging off  forever. I'll likely be back tomorrow. Because I need to write. I need to take  pictures. I need to put it all together and make sense of it for myself. And for some reason, I'm am compelled to share it with you. Gosh, I'm grateful you pause with me. And I do hope that this little corner of my world can be a quiet respite for you. Because really, I'm all about the quiet. 

 

 

 

Another Request for Prayers

The world of youth soccer is like an extended family. There are lots of links and lots of connnections and there is always the common experience. I could tell you all the ways this young man's story tugs my heartstrings, but I'd rather just ask you to pray for  Ian Stowe, a recent graduate and soccer alumnus of William and Mary. He's been working here in the DC area since graduation and learned on Monday that he is suffering a significant tumor located on his brain stem.

Please storm heaven for Ian.

Hug your babies, no matter how big they are.

G'night.

An Old Favorite in a Brand New Place

I'm pleased to be visiting at Suscipio today. Suscipio is  new website founded for the encouragement of Catholic women. The contributors write:

 

We are single, married, mothers, grandmothers… We strive to make God the Father the habitual guide and help of our lives because we know, with Him we can do all things.  We offer a place of comfort and rest for those whom we love. We also need the support and encouragement of our sisters in Christ. Our souls are tender, our hearts thoughtful and some days we just need a place to go and know we are accepted “as is”…Suscipio, Latin for: to raise up, maintain, support, accept, receive.

You are in the right place…stay awhile.

It surely is a beautiful place and the invitation to stay is gracious and welcome. They've chosen an old favorite from my archives today. Do come by and visit us there. And stay awhile:-).

 

A Lit Bit of a Yarn Along

I've so missed sharing about books and knitting! I'm sort of sneaking in here with just the wee, tiniest bit of knitting so that I can maybe get back into that happy rhythm--of both knitting and of Yarn Along. 

My elbows are still ridiculously sore. Ironically, they were somehwat better in Florida, despite carrying Sarah everywhere. I attribute that to nearly no driving, no phone, no texting, and no keyboarding. 

A friend recommended cubic needles to me. They are similar to my favorite Knit Pick's Harmony needles, only they are squared and not rounded. The idea is that they are ergonomic and require less tension to hold them firmly. i do find that to be true. I can't say that there is no pain. I'm not sure. My elbows hurt when I started:-). I

I sat last night and just knit a few rows of a simple washcloth as I get used to the new needles and test their effect. My first few rows were a little looser than I like but the later rows are very nice. Promising, promising.

I'm  juggling books right now. On my Kindle, I'm reading Twyla Tharp's The Creative Habit and How to Be Like Walt: Capturing the Disney Magic in Your Everyday Life. Tharp's book is a very interesting tutorial on cultivating creative habits. I read it as much for the opportunity to crawl inside a choreographer's brain and understand better a dancer as to explore creativity in general. I've learned a great deal and would highly recommend the book to anyone wanting to think more deeply about creativity.

The Disney book is excellent. I plan to make it required reading for all my teenagers. Disney was a fascinating man. The book is a witness to his hard work, perseverance, and understanding that he was created to create. I wish I'd read it before our Disney trip, because it puts some things in context, but then again, it has already inspired me to go back and look even more closely.

New on my nightstand (it was just released yesterday) is Quiet: The Power of Introvets in a World that Can't Stop Talking. For the life of me, I cannot remember where I learned about this book. I'm utterly fascinated. As an introvert who is still reeling a bit after a very extroverted vacation, it's nice to read a book with such appreciation for the strength of people who "listening to speaking, reading to partying; who innovate and create but dislike self-promotion; who favor working on their own over brainstorming in teams." I've just begun to read, but I know I'm going to learn a great deal about myself in these pages. 

 

There! I got to share; I feel much better now and I'm grateful to Ginny for the opportunity. Now go visit her and get more great reading and knitting news.

Urgent Prayer Request

I just received this request and hope that you all will join me in praying for this young man and his family. 

 

Dear Elizabeth,

Could you please pray along with our parish? We are from St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Front Royal, VA. We are praying for James Brogan, 16 year old boy who ran into a tree on his way to school last week after swerving to miss a deer. He is in critical condition and his recovery is iffy at this point. He and his family are also parishioners of St. John the Baptist.

His mother, Carey Brogan, is a wonderful person. She is an elementary school teacher and helps many students whom come from less than ideal homes. You can find her every Saturday morning with a group of those students in the front pew at Mass. She then conducts a Catechism class for them. She loves to spread devotion to Our Lady. She is also one of the CCD teachers for the First Communion students and volunteers at the Pregnancy Crisis Center. I just can't imagine what she is going through right now. Please pray for her as well (and her husband and daughters). Please spread the word and pray for this amazing family! God bless you.

 

Novena in Honor of Pope John Paul II

Blessed Trinity, we thank you for having graced the Church with Pope John Paul II, and for allowing the tenderness of your Fatherly care, the glory of your Son's cross, and the splendor of your Holy Spirit to shine through him. Trusting fully in your Divine mercy, and in the intercession of Mary our Immaculate Mother, he has given us aliving image of Jesus the Good Shepherd, and has shown us that holiness is the necessary measure of ordinary Christian life, and the way of achieving eternal communion with you.Grant us, by his intercession, and according to your will, the graces we implore-ESPECIALLY THE FULL RECOVERY OF JAMES BROGAN-hoping that Blessed John Paul will soon be numbered among your saints. Amen.

Blessed John Paul II, pray for us!

Our Disney Trip: Organized Packing and Playing in the Van

The last time I drove to my mother's in Ponte Vedra, Michael was eighteen and Karoline was an infant riding backwards. Mike flew in to meet us there. I drove the whole way. Karoline cried the whole way. It took us fourteen hours. I waited nearly five years to repeat that trip.

This time, Mike drove. Everyone is old enough to ride facing forward. And I applied everything I have ever learned about packing and planning for the car. here's the brain dump.

Packing::

We began the packing process early and took our time working through it thoughtfully. Mary Beth was a huge help. Totally umprompted, she presented me with packing lists one morning and showed me how she had begun to gather into a laundry basket t all of the extra things we would need. Those basket items were then divided into things we would need in the car while we traveled and things that could be packed and put in the back. Then, it was divided again to cut down on what we actually needed and didn't need. The kids' bags were laid out on the floor, packed, checked, unpacked, repacked, checked, and one more for good measure;-). I'm happy to report no one underpacked (though a certain 13-year-old boy overpacked). 

We were lucky enough to have a washer and dryer in our hotel suite, a feature that was a huge help with eliminating extra clothes. I did laundry every day at my mother's house and every day at Disney World. The only dirty laundry we brought home was the laundry we were wearing. That made transition to home a bit easier.  The packing lists we created for the children included 3 pairs of jeans, 5 shirts (3 long sleeved, and 2 short sleeved), sweatshirt with hood, bathing suit, pajamas, underwear, socks, baseball cap, and sunglasses and clothes to wear for dinner at the club and church. The older kids were in charge of getting their car 'toys' into the car while the youngers had theirs packed in an extra bag (more on that later in the post). 

A note about shoes: About three weeks before we left, I took inventory of the shoes each child planned to wear while walking at Disney.I made sure they were in good repair and fit perfectly. I ended up buying new pairs for a couple of children and then encouraging them to wear them often before we left so that they'd be broken in and we'd catch any ill-fitting blister issues before leaving.

Car Bag 1 (this is a euphemism. We actulaly called it the "Throw Up Bag.").  The first car bag was packed with things we potentionally would need while we were in the car (a bag that wouldn't get packed and be unaccesible in the back of the car). We have several children who are prone to motion sickness. This bag was the go-to bag when someone started to gag. It included baby wipes, clorox wipes, gum, snacks, waterbottles (they weren't IN the bag but nearby), and plastic bins just in case of car sickness. I used these bins, so that I could put the lid on it and dispose of it as soon as possible. I also packed a roll of scented trash bags for nasty clothes and clean up trash.  In the accessible car bag, we included a change of clothes for each of our two littlest girls. 

Extra Things Bags: This was a catch-all bag for the stuff of every day living away from home. It included

• Tiger Balm patches  and cream (for mom's elbow, but they were used otherwise as well)
• bandaids (why, Mickey Mouse of course)
• neosporin
• blister packs (happy to say no one in our family needed them, but I did give one to someone else)
• nebulizer 
• cold medicine 
• Airborne
• sunscreen (something we definitely DID need)
• Advil
• breakfast food and some patnry items for meals prepared in the hotel. we ate all our breakfasts and some dinners in the hotel.
• glowsticks, needed for extra magic at night and great for helping to keep track of kids at the nighttime parade and fireworks
• garbage bags 
• laundry soap
• paper towels.  
• Tide to go
• Cinch sacks for everybody. I'll explain these in further detail in a later post, but we packed an empty cinch sack for each of us to use daily while we were there for water and snacks and other essentials. The boys regularly collect these at soccer tournaments and from shoe vendors, so we had planty of them around the house. Sarah's bag was the only one that was different. She had a teddy bear backpack that was a birthday gift. Since I ended up carrying her and her packpack more often than not, I'd think differently about her backpack if I had it to do again. My backpack was a frontpack. Sarah rode in it. So, my pocket for water and snacks was super small. I still managed to put trail mix in it and to stash a few bandaids, Tide-toGo, and lipgloss. I carried this purse with me everywhere. The size, the zippers and the velcro while I walked through throngs in the park made it perfect! (And here I admit that it made me happy that my hipster and my baby carrier happened to coordinate. It's the little things;-). 

AeroBed Sleep Tight Bed: So worth the money! This bed is extremely easy to inflate and so cozy to sleep in. If you need extra beds in the hotel room I strongly recommend these. i didn't pack these from home. My Aunt Lisette had them for her grandchildren and mentioned them to me. My mom borrowed them from her while we were staying at my mother's and then I packed them to take to Disney. I plan to buy some of our won. Katie and Sarah slept on them. Katie is nine and had plenty of room. One night, Sarah woke and I laid down next to her to put her back to sleep. I comfortably spent the rest of the night there. 

Download Disney Master List PDF.

Tips for a Happy Car Ride:

For the older kids they had the things they wanted in their own bags/pockets so they weren't forgotten. They mostly occupied themselves with iPods, laptops, and the occasional Kindle. They also slept a whole lot. iPod Touch: This is 14 hours of teen and tween peace at your fingertips, from Nick to Christian, all of the older kids had music, HD video camera, game apps, and, when needed, iCloud to find misplaced iPods. Audio books can be downloaded to these also and they can listen to them while playing apps.  While in wifi zones, the kids could also play Words with Friends against each other, update to Facebook, and check ESPN game scores.

For the younger kids, we kept their LeapPads, batteries, and  headphones in one bag ready and accessible to them. This was Car Bag 2, another accessible bag with extra batteries, markers, drawing paper, crosstich projects, extra embroidery floss and Kids Travel (by Klutz). This book matches its description as a backseat survival kit. Everyone had something fun to use in this book, it is definitely complete. Even if you don't plan on going on a trip anytime soon you might like this book, lots of fun mess-free things to do. 

About the LeapPad in Pink and LeapPad in Green.: These have gone up in price and are still extremely hard to find in stock. We bought them for each of the little girls for $99 each and that was their Christmas present from us (we don't do Santa--so the Leap Pad was it). I let them play with them Christmas Day and then I put them away until the trip. The recommended age is 4-8,  but I think it suits a much wider span. Sarah is three and LOVED it, and Stephen (13) and Nick (11) might have spent more time on them than Katie. Also, once we got to Disney these were great to have when they wanted to take pictures or even videos of Disney World,.The camera isn't the greatest but it is not awful and it captured for them what they wanted to remember. We only let them take the Leap Pads into the park on one day because I really didn't want to mess with carrying and remembering them. LeapFrog always does things well and this product is no exception. 

Make sleeping comfortable. We packed a pillow a person and some throw blankets..Those throw blankets were passed all around and helped tremendously when one person wanted the air conditioner up high and another person didn't want air conditioning at all.

Snacks on the Way and Border Treats: We packed a variety of snacks so that we could stretch time between stopping for meals and keep carsickness at bay. I tucked in granola bars in three different flavors, crackers, goldfish, trail mix, and things that would hopefully not make too much mess in the back. I did vacuum after arriving in Ponte Vedra, after returning to Ponte Vedra from Orlando, and after we got home before we returned the rental car.

The favorite treats were our border treats. This is a fun idea Lissa passed on to me when I drove to Florida several years ago.  Every time we crossed a border into another state, Katie would read aloud (or shout) the sign saying "Welcome to...", then the treat would be passed all around. On the way there we had: Peanut Butter Cups from Trader Joe's (you will never want Reese's again after tasting these), Smashing S'Mores from Trader Joe's, Minty Mallows from Trader Joe's, and Salted Caramel Chocolates. On the way home we had to go to a local grocery store and we had: Pirouettes, Coconut Dreams, Mint Cookies, and Chocolate Covered Ritz Crackers.

For my own entertainment, I packed some embroidery and some lovely floss. I had visions of stitching merrily for hours while I chatted with Mike. The reality was that I stitched a wee bit and then recognized that the van was not the smoothest ride and getting that needle right where I wanted it wasn't happening. Besides, the shifting light along the treeline as we traveled, combined with the needlework, made me start wondering about whether that Throw Up Bag was for me, too. I also packed a bunch of old design magazines, some glue, and a blank sketchbook to create an idea journal. That took about an hour:-). There were some new books, both print and audio awaiting me on my Kindle, but that just seemed rude to Mike, who was doing the real work of getting us there. Mostly, I just kept keeping the little girls happy. 

In order to maximize the benefit of gas and meal stops, I insisted everybody "give it a try" every time we stopped at a bathroom. For the most part, this strategy prevented the dreaded "I have to go" fifteen minutes after having just stopped. I will admit that I grew very, very weary of lifting Sarah onto every public toilet along the southeast coast. 

On the way down, the girls were battling carsicknesses mightily. Mike and I decided on a sitdown late breakfast at Cracker Barrel. After that stop, they were considerably better the rest of the trip. So, it was probably time well spent. But it did slow us quite a bit. On the trip home, we snacked more and stopped for fast food and potty breaks, but ate meals in the car. All in all, our best coping strategy for little bladders and motion-sick girlies was to accept it and just roll. We did what they needed and didn't try to push past their limits. 

One more note: we don't have a vehicle big enough for all of us any more, so one of our major expenses was the renting of a 15 passenger van. We had plenty of space for all of us and all our stuff. The thing gobbled gas, though.

This trip was so much better than the last one. As long as Mike is with me and willing to drive, I'd easily do it again. Soon. Maybe this summer? 

 {{This post, the PDFs, and all of the packing that went into the education that informs this post, would not have been possible without bushels of cheerful, thoughtful help from Mary Beth. }}

Lessons from Disney for Life: Eat, Sleep, & Pace Yourself

It's been said that a vacation is a crucible of family life. When a family takes a vacation, all the good things about that family are better; they glow golden. And the not-so-good things? The flaws? The places we need to improve? They stand in stark relief against the very good.

I hope to spend a few days making observations and passing along some ideas fresh from our extended vacation. I hit a few of the biggies here (in a now-expanded, complete with pictures post). Today, I'm going to take on the not-so-good, the bumps in the road where I wish we could have a do-over. There are just two nuggets here.

Eat, Sleep, and Pace Yourself. The meltdown started on Disney Day 7. We had wonderful lunch in a super-fun place. Spirits were high despite the poor weather. We had made a decision--because of the weather--to go to the Disney Store (the biggest one in the whole world) and allow the children to spend the Christmas money Grandpa and Barbara had designated for Disney World. Everyone else went to the Disney Store that day, too. It was big and noisy and overwhelming. Sarah and Karoline wanted to hold everything they saw while they tried to make decisions. Mike and I were being pulled in six directions and we were trying so hard to please. Some of us were so overwhelmed that we couldn't make a clear-headed decision and left with nothing.

We left Downtown Disney and decided to take the rest of the afternoon and do short return trip to Epcot. After a quick trip back at the hotel to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for dinner, we were off. Mike took the big kids in one direction. I took the littles in another. While standing in line for Nemo inside the aquarium building, I looked at my phone to see what time it was. I noticed I'd missed a text. I read a heartbreaking message from Colleen. Trapped with my little girls in line and no cell service, I swallowed, blinked back tears, and prayed. When I connected with Mike, he took everyone back inside and I went out to make a phone call.

After the call, I tried to pull myself together, but my heart wasn't in it. All the fatigue of the previous week started to gather momentum. The kids were getting increasingly cranky and we decided to eat dinner. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. One of the adults doesn't eat wheat and had neglected to pack anything of substance without it. One of the adults doesn't like jelly with his peanut butter. I've known this fact for about 30 years.  In my efficient assembly line sandwich-making, I'd forgotten. Two hungry and tired adults. Wet, tired, hungry kids. We called it a day and went back to the room. 

I might have dissolved into a sobbing heap. We might have made up and slept hard that night.

Overslept. 

We needed to hustle to pack up the van and get out of the hotel. Since it had rained the previous day, we'd left Animal Kingdom for the last day. I buckled an exhuasted Sarah back into the Ergo. It was the warmest day we'd had. Not hot, but more uncomfortable than not with a three-year-old strapped in an infant carrier. Everyone was tired. And everyone was sad. We were leaving. Oh, and I had skipped breakfast to pack the van.

My aunt tells me that my cousin has had a meldown in front of the Tree of Life on two separate trips. She's the mom of four little ones. There must be something about mothers of many at Animal Kingdom. The park is designed around this huge (fake) tree. There are spokes to amusements all branching from that tree. If you walk too far, missing the sign telling you your intended destination is down a particular path, it is highly likely you will walk a long way. Indeed, walk a long way very quickly, so as not to miss the FastPass window. Over and over again. Carrying the preschooler. You might be tired. You might miscommunicate with the person you love most in the whole world. And you might keep up the family tradition of falling apart in Animal Kingdom. And then you will be very sad because it was not The Perfect Trip.

I wasn't the only one struggling. I've never been one to tell tales on my family members here, so we'll leave it at that. We'd all had enough. We were all hungry and tired. Too tired. In hindsight, we should have taken the previous day to just eat a good meal  and hang out in the hotel. I think there is a tendency at Disney World to forget that the hotel is a part of the experience. If we'd soaked up a little more hotel and a little less crowded-noisy-crazy, we might have saved the last day from despair. But there is a corollary that is probably even more important for me.

Lessons from Disney for Life: It Doesn't Have to Be Perfect to Be Very Good

I have tendency to see things in black and white and to be incredibly hard on myself. Either it was the perfect trip or it wasn't. I beat myself up over jelly on peanut butter and miscommunication. I took too personally the expressions of other people's fatigue and hunger. I focused on the imperfections and I might have missed the fact that this trip was very, very good. We returned to my mom's house that night utterly exhausted. We slept. We awoke to a relaxed day and an evening of good food and laughter at my aunt's house. Perspective restored, we drove all the way home the next day, proud that we'd done really good things. 

It might seem strange to begin a series of vacation posts with the end of the trip and the only negatives, but I wanted to make it clear right from the get-go that we are real people with real frailties. I have a couple of close friends who have compared notes with me over the years on the "vacation fight." It happens almost universally (but I'm still shooting for the vacation without one). We've mutually agreed that if any of us texts another with the message "St. Joseph prayers needed now, please" from a family vacation, we are to pray hard. No questions asked. No details necessary. And none given. Stuff happens. Strong families survive and thrive despite the stuff. They might even improve because of the stuff.

We took eight children from 3-19 to Disney World, traveling from DC to Orlando in a big, rented van. It wasn't perfect. But it was good.

Very good.

Bring a Little Magic Home

I wrote a column while I was in Disney World. I had lots and lots of thoughts about the "magic" and what it means for our everyday lives. I hope to have some time soon to get more of them written so I don't forget. For now, though, there are these few. And for those of you who have commented on the height difference between Mike and me, I'm 5'2". If you read the column, you can do math and know just how far up I gaze;-). 

~~~~~

Updated to included the full text and some more pictures here:-)

I’m writing this column from Disney World. My husband and I have been here for nearly a week with eight of our children. We have had a truly wonderful time. Some would call it “magical.” Surely, it seems magical, but I know that, despite all evidence to the contrary, there is no magic. There is something else at work here. Since we arrived, I’ve been trying to pin down exactly what forces are at play to create Disney Magic. Although I’m certain that volumes could be written about the topic, I’d like to toss out just three ways that the magic makes our days here incredibly joyous, three things we can take home when we want to bottle it up and bring it north.

 

Embrace a passion for creativity and hard work. The parks are sparkling clean and every detail is thoughtfully appointed. It’s more than just good organizational management. It’s a philosophy of creativity, cheerfulness, and work ethic. Every single person who works here knows his or her job and does it cheerfully, with excellence. Disney Magic is what happens when creativity meets diligent hard work in a well-supervised environment.  When confronted with a bump in the road, there isn’t any whining or temper-flaring on the part of the Disney cast. Instead, they work to find a pleasant answer—it’s obvious that they are thinking creatively and it’s obvious that they are putting forth their best efforts to make “magic.” The magic isn’t magic at all; it’s just cheerful hard work. There is an expectation that we will all be cheerful together here and everyone seems to be in on the effort.

 

Follow Daddy; he’s in the lead. It’s been very crowded despite our best efforts to be here on historically less crowded days. Eight children working their way through the crowds in a place where kids and adults alike are easily distracted can strike terror in everyone’s hearts. In our family, Daddy is 6’4”. He has a different perspective on Disney than anyone else—literally. He can see the bigger picture. He’s also a commanding presence. If he’s pushing the stroller through the crowd, the seas seem to part a little. He’s even keeled. He has a plan and he’s considering everyone’s best interest as we move forward from one experience to the next. It works for Dad to lead.

A corollary to this principle is to snuggle the wee ones close.  I would have thought that my three-year-old had long since abandoned the frontpack carrier, but that is where she’s been happiest while we’re here.  I have held her close and she’s taken in the sights and sounds from the safety of my arms. It’s done us both a world of good. Almost magically, we are relaxed and we have plenty of energy, despite logging in an average of seven miles of walking a day (no small feat while carrying 25 pounds of toddler). There is much to be said in favor of holding them close for as long they need us.

You are royalty. Act the part. It didn’t take long for us to figure out the every cast member is trained to refer to a little girl as “princess.” And every single time a ticket taker or waiter or bag checker told them to “have a beautiful day, princess” that little girl would stand up straighter, smile wider and walk with a little spring in her step. They aren’t really magic princesses. But they are daughters of the King. They are heirs to Heaven. Do they know it? Do I? Can we treat each other as such even after we drive north from the magical sunshine of this place into the real workaday world? I hope so. I hope magic can meet memories and we can continue to live the lessons of this vacation.

 

Miss That Pink Link Box?

I so miss Google Share. That was the box on the sidebar where I could just click and instantly you'd know what great stuff I'd bumped into on the web. I can't find a good substitute. Please bear with me as I try to get Delicious to work. In the meantime, here's list to click around:

Let's Hear it for the Dads  I really love those Archbolds and I'm a big fan of dads, so this one rocks.

Design the Life You Want. "It’s true — TV and video games can be addictive. Bad food is definitely addictive. There are downward spirals wherever you look, and they lead to a passive, overweight, consumerist lifestyle. But the good stuff can be just as addictive. Healthy eaters crave healthy food. Kids who play outside every day crave sunshine and wind and trees. Readers crave books. Makers crave time to make. Artists crave time to create." Now get after it! I'm right there with you.

Jen's found a great C. S. Lewis quote.

This one is super-serious. Please pray for Scott Hahn.

Helping Yourself. Kelle Hampton has so nailed where I am right now. Makes me want to get out there and run. Oh yeah, I don't live in Florida. It's sleeting here. Think I'll lock myself in my closet with my stationary bike and headphones. Lalalalalala.

This is just way sad. And this? Oh, I so beg to differ. I think I will. 

Yum. My aunt introduced me to the most amazing gluten-free pasta. Most amazing. My aunt is 110% Italian and she's an excellent cook. Even she agreed that this was really good. Not "really good for gluten free" but really good.

Sweet Keenan. We love this girl so much. Add her to the list of homeschooled celebrities. Oh, and before she was famous, she was an illustrator for Real Learning.

Sigh. I'd love to be at craft night Dawn's.

Speaking of crafting, Mike's going to do a bit of DIY.

I am obsessed with all things Anna Maria Horner. It's crazy. And during my current knitting fast, I've been drawn to embroidery. So, this announcement makes my heart sing.

And then there's this: Colleen called. She's safely in her new home. Far away. 

And one more (well two, together). A beautiful post that made me cry. Big family love. Long married love. Brand new love. All good. All God.

Have you any good links to share?